Monday, June 22, 2009

So, What Do You Want to be When You Grow Up?

This question has plagued me since I was a child, probably around four years old. Here's a list of a few things I've thought about being since then (some more or less realistic than others...I'm sure you could figure out which is which!):


  • Movie Director
  • Novelist
  • Fashion Designer
  • Teacher
  • Restaurant Owner
  • Night Club Owner
  • Astronaut
  • Pro Basketball Player
  • Ballerina
  • Physical Therapist
  • Obstetrician
  • Archaeologist
  • Psychologist
  • Flight Attendant
  • Photographer
  • Newspaper Columnist
  • Magazine Editor
  • Pediatrician

The list is pretty all over the place, like I am now. There are a billion and one things I want to do, and I want more than one career path in my life because, to me, life is too short to settle on one type of job. I graduated college in 2008, but witnessing other people graduate recently has made me reflect on my own education and my future.

I loved being creative with the question, "What do you want to be when you grow up?" I dreamed big when I was younger, just as I do now. The only difference? I'm GROWN. So, now the question is, "What are you doing?" And I wish I could be as creative as I was when I was younger, able to just choose an answer out of thin air.

I am not saying I wasted my time in college. I am not saying I'm wasting my time now. I heard the warnings and the advice: have a game plan; if don't know what you want to do, you won't get anywhere. I thought I was following those words; I thought I knew what I wanted. I just don't know anymore.

I am not one to give up, and I am not one to be pessimistic. I just have a change of heart. It's wanting too much and not settling on just one thing for the time being. It's having commitment issues. I stayed with my Comm degree, but fluctuated on my second degree and my two minors until I settled with Comm and a Sociology minor. I spread myself too thin. I saw so many options, and I guess I became overwhelmed. I thought I wanted to do PR with a nonprofit organization. That is still my main focus. But there aren't too many opportunities out there. I know what I want, but yet I'm still confused? Maybe it's self-doubt, maybe it's the reality of our economy sinking in, or maybe I am always looking beyond, looking at what else is out there that I don't want to miss out on.

I am writing this because I know so many people who've just graduated or who've been out of college for like a year or two now. A lot of us are feeling this same way. Job searching is like a job in itself. Finding our place in society, making a name for ourselves, attempting to be real world adults...it looked so easy and effortless 20 years ago. Now we have people who are like me, going back to school to chase yet another dream, or to substitute the one they thought would get them to where they want to be. We've got people working jobs that they really hate. It sucks having to do something that only makes us feel worse, rather than being in a position in which we feel passionate and happy.

In time, things will always fall into place the way we want them to. We have to keep our heads up. We have to keep that determination, that fire, that spirit. We have to be tireless in our efforts. Even the most successful people tried and failed countless times, even though it seems like everything comes easy to them...

"The great Henry Aaron hit a home run 755 times in his career, but failed to do so almost 12,000 times." - John Szarkowski

Saturday, June 20, 2009

Yo, Eminem is SO ON POINT.

For those who hate reading long entries, or reading at all, I bolded the parts that really matter. Maybe by reading the bold parts you'll want to read the rest. Ha, that's funny.

[Damn, I just realized I bolded like all of it. I guess all of it matters. Oh well. READ.]

"I am whatever you say I am." Dude, that is so true. F what you heard. Rap music, especially Em, rattles your bones and just forces you to think. It's not about being blinged out and driving fancy cars. It's not like other music that's only about falling in and out of love. It's not just about getting drunk and high, then hitting a club and bring b****** home. It talks about some real ill sh**, things that I can't relate to because I didn't grow up anywhere near the streets and because I do not have a hard knock life so far, but still... it's the best kind of music because it's like reading a book, listening to a story. We don't necessarily read a book or watch a movie because we can relate to it. If anything, the stuff we don't know about intrigues us the most, hence why we like watching horror films or sci-fi flicks. Like, hello, does that have anything to do with your life? Nah, it doesn't it. And rap music for the most part has nothing to do with mine, but I love it because the raw energy and emotions are deep, the words get you thinking about how you react to life and certain situations, and that is what music is all about. You know what, I can relate to some of it, obviously, otherwise Eminem would have nothing to do with this entry. Uh duh. That's why I say give everything and everyone a chance because you'll never know what you'll learn.

Anyway, this entry really has nothing to do with rap, or music at all, but if you read the section to the left, I warned you about tangents. So deal like we're playing cards. Word. You like that on-the-spot analogy? I can be quick with it, see? Here I go again, let me stop.

SO, for the real part of this entry (cause the whole part before this was fake)...

Yo, Eminem is SO ON POINT. Yeah, I said it twice for emphasis. And it's half in caps, so I must mean business. For all of you who don't know why Eminem is being brought up, check his lyrics to "The Way I Am." Anyway, I got to thinking about who I am from the outside looking in. Like, I know me, for the most part, and I say for the most part because I always surprise myself with the things that I do, and I am still a work-in-progress project and won't know who I am completely until my last breath when I can finally say, "I AM DONE" because God says I am.

I don't normally care about how people judge me. Actually, I do care because I don't want to be hated. Anyway, what I am trying to finally get to saying is... (wow, that was a mouthful) who the hell am I TO YOU?! I know who I am to me. I am not too mean, not too nice, I am somewhere in the middle. I'm not too fat, not too thin, I am just right. And people like just right, right? Think Goldilocks, even though she's not a real person, she's fake like the first half of this post.

Now think of "The Way I Am" (Goldilocks...Eminem...only I could bring these two together). Anyway, it essentially does not matter what I think about me. What matters is what others think about me. It's because how people perceive me is who I am TO THEM. That's how we get along or not, that's how we are friends or enemies. People don't like you because of who YOU think you are. They like you (or dislike you) for who THEY think you are. Make sense? I know it's a crazy jungle of jumbled words, but bear with me. This ish is getting deeper than I thought! Remember when I said I surprise myself? This entry is one of them moments. And I'm glad to share the experience with you all on the World Wide Web.

So, like Eminem points out, I am whatever you say I am. That's just life. It is whatever you think it is. We are nothing but a bundle of someone's thought process, if that makes any sense. We're just a perception. And I'm feeling like I'm in my freshman year of Intro to Philosophy.

I am what you thought I was in high school. I am what you thought I was in college. I am what you think I am through this blog. But is that truly me? Is that really who I am? To you it is, and I can't really control that, I can just hope you see me in a positive light.

Thursday, June 18, 2009

It's the Little Things in Life That Make Me Smile, Such As...

  1. Realizing that someone has Verizon when they text me!
  2. Getting new mail, texts, or e-mail. I don't really know how to explain why.
  3. Finding a new way home from work that cuts my driving time in half (it's rough working at the beach when it gets mad crowded on Routes 37 and 571...what you know about that, Jersey?!).
  4. A book that I could actually finish because it's actually good (currently reading Single Wife and I highly recommend it!).
  5. Finding good deals on CDs and DVDs on Amazon.com(visit http://journeyto101.blogspot.com and you'll know why).
  6. Finding long lost lip gloss and eye liner pens, the top two things that I consistently lose.
  7. Seeing little kids out with their grandparents. For some reason, that image is just sooo adorable to me!
  8. Sarcastic one liners.
  9. Someone I don't know holding the door open for me.
  10. Seeing other people smile.
  11. Finding the perfect shoes to go with a dress within 30 minutes of having to wear the outfit.
  12. Sunny days amidst weeks of rain.
  13. Butterflies.
  14. Catching a good movie right at the beginning while flipping through the channels.
  15. Positive human interest stories in the paper.
  16. Running into people I've been friends with in the past whom (who? this always confuses me!) I haven't seen in a while.
  17. Monster Energy drink. I'm a self-diagnosed narcoleptic, and I'm hooked on the extra big size to keep me awake while hanging out with people and watching movies (warning: I doze off on couches; it doesn't matter how many people are or who's around!).
  18. Someone letting me into their lane when I'm merging.
  19. Hearing a song on the radio that I haven't heard in years (just the other day I heard Blaque's "Bring It All to Me," which brought me back!).
  20. My warm bed!
  21. Getting a good work out.
  22. Waking up to (a good) breakfast already made.
  23. Discovering a good radio station.
  24. People I don't know saying hello and being polite to me.
  25. Hearing other people laugh because they're genuinely happy.

Sunday, June 7, 2009

The Truth Floats Like a Butterfly, Stings Like a Bee

Let's get real here...

Truth is, you just can't sing.
Truth is, you do need to lose a couple of pounds.
Truth is, you're being controlled by your man.
Truth is, she'll never want to be with you.

Let's not string each other along just to keep each other happy. That's how we end up with so many tears on American Idol from people who can't carry a note if it was in a brown paper bag, but have been convinced that they're the next big thing. That's how we end up with people, who don't realize how big they are, running around in clothes three times too small (I'm not talking about people who are proud of their curves and wear clothes to accentuate them...I'm talking about the straight delusional!). That's how we end up with women who have been lied to, being told that their man is a good catch when everyone knows she's the dummy to his ventriloquist act. That's how we end up with people who chase the ones they love anywhere and everywhere until they're out of breath because the ones being chased don't want to hurt their feelings.

We don't have to be mean to tell the truth, but damn son...the truth must be told somehow! There are people out their who would rather walk on egg shells to keep a smile on someone's face rather than speak up about an issue they have with a person. Confrontation does not always lead to conflict. It can, however, and it should, lead to a resolution.

Sometimes we know the truth but it is just sooo effing hard to face that we become dishonest with ourselves. We convince ourselves that it's better to live a lie than to confront ourselves. We do know what's up, that there needs to be a change, but some of us need others to point that out and to point us in the proper direction. Some of us are too weak to face the truth even though we are very aware of what it is.

Here's something I've learned, even though it may be common sense and might come naturally to you...by facing the truth and really working on yourself to improve your life, you eliminate so much of the stress and headache of trying to live with that bad demon, the lurking shadow, the cloudy overcast. The truth is the light.

Sometimes it's not this serious, like the thing about singing. Sometimes we just really are convinced of something that just isn't true. But it's those things that we should just laugh about and roll off our shoulders.

None of us lead perfect lives and once in a while we gotta put each other in check...but gently. Otherwise, we may be seeing more people signing record deals who are overweight, wearing extra tight clothes, and do not have any business being played on the radio.

Wednesday, June 3, 2009

"Would You Like Fries With That?"

It irritates me when I hear people making fun of others who are working at fast food restaurants, or as janitors, when they themselves don't have work. They're waving their rolled up college degrees tied with pretty ribbon like wands hoping to make magic happen. A college degree doesn't mean anything unless you make it worth something. Congratulations! You've completed 128 credits. Now what? College does not guarantee success, even though it is a valuable key to it.

By the way, I am a proud college graduate, but I have humbled myself in this world of layoffs and hiring freezes. Graduating does not necessarily automatically make you a baller. Yes, it gives you an upper hand. Hell yeah it's an advantage. But baller status? Think again. You still gotta climb that ladder before you hit the three letters C, E, and O. You may find yourself competing with someone who has a lesser degree. You might even be competing with someone without a degree who jumped onto that corporate ladder at the lowest of the lowest of the rungs and now gained more experience than you did while your were studying for final exams year in and year out.

You'll also find people who did not spend thousands of dollars on a college degree who are banking crazy amounts of money. Their secret? Their mind. And guess what? You've got one of those too. Really utilize the most powerful tool God placed in your body. It works wonders.

Life, as it is usually compared to, is a game of cards. Play your hand well, and like Sister Souljah points out in The Coldest Winter Ever, play that hand close to your chest. The hand you've been dealt is the choices you've been offered, and just as you calculate your next move in a game, you need to calculate precisely the next step in your life. Your education level does not mean anything unless you make moves. Like in poker, even if you have a winning hand, it means nothing if you don't take the risk and make those bets.

Long story short, don't pass up opportunities because you've got your eye on that high prize. Success comes in taking the small steps and learning from the bottom up in order to reach the top, not by leaping in bounds without any type of understanding. People respect those who have been around longer and worked their way up because they know more since they've been there and done that. They don't want some snotty college kid in a management position when he doesn't even know what it's like to hold a job of the "little people."

Am I making any sense?

With the world in the state that it's in, be glad you're being offered jobs. And if you're not being offered anything, you're just not trying hard enough. Point blank. That degree, no matter what it's in or what level it is at, is not going to work for you. You have to make it work.

This is my hard lesson learned, and I just thought I'd share it with you. I've been out of college a year and have yet to hold a job that requires a degree. Am I mad? No. "Change, it comes eventually," Lauryn Hill puts it. I am working at my life because that's the only thing we can do. The definition of work is energy, and to let up on that would make you weak. I may be physically weak, but I am mentally tough. I am not here to brag, and I am sure as hell not here to teach you all how to be tough because I am in no position to do any of that. You'll have to learn elsewhere how to be strong. You won't find answers in this blog.

But please don't disrespect the 40-year-old men and women asking customers if they'd like fries and a Coke to go along with their cheeseburgers. They're in the right business right now. That dollar menu is highly desirable at a time when people are pinching their pennies.