Even if You've Dropped the Ball, You Haven't Lost the Game!

The best way to win is to know there is no chance of losing, even if you drop the ball.

Basically, we should always keep in mind that failure is certain, but losing is not. For instance, a basketball team could be down a few points by halftime, then come back and win the game. The players probably failed at making baskets and blocking their opponents, but they did not lose.

I don't know if this makes sense to anyone else, but failure occurs more often than losing. A defeatist attitude means that once you fail, you believe you have lost. With a more positive attitude, you can truly live out that saying, "It doesn't matter how many times you fall, but how you bounce back," or whatever the quote is. You get the idea.

Personally, there have been times when I've failed quizzes but managed to get an "A" or "B" in the class. If one "F" puts you down, then you should really consider the kind of outlook and perception you have toward life beyond the classroom.

I was introduced to this quote over the summer from Tom Hopkins: "I am not judged by the number of times I fail, but by the number of times I succeed, and the number of times I succeed is in direct proportion to the number of times I can fail and keep trying."

What I get out of this quote is that people are not waiting for you to fail, and nobody counts your failures. Instead, they take note of all of your successes, sometimes not even knowing that you've failed countless times in the process.

Keep your head up, and just stay hungry :)

101 Goals in 1,001 Days

I don't know if anyone has heard of this concept, but I have decided to commit to this project. Basically, I made a list of 101 goals that I want to accomplish in the next 1,001 days beginning tomorrow, Wednesday, February 25, 2009. I am going to start a second blog: journeyto101.blogspot.com.

"The Birthday Party"

Bare Bones (Please Heed Warning)

Warning: I try my best in this blog to remain as unbiased as possible, especially with sensitive topics. This might be a touchy subject, but my intention is not to offend anyone. If I do, please tell me, and if enough people complain, I will take this down. Thank you.

The topic of this post is religion and spirituality. No, I will not be pressing my views onto anyone. I am just stripping this to its bare bones.

There are different religious and anti-religious views in the world, as we all know. There are religions that believe Jesus Christ is the Messiah, the Savior who will forgive sinners and enter them into Heaven. Then, there are religions that believe Jesus was a man from Nazareth, but not the Son of God, only someone who claimed he was. Who can blame them for not believing Jesus isn't the Son of God? Not many were witness to his resurrection, and put this into present context... What if someone on the street, a former carpenter to boot, told you he was the Son of God and will save this world from evil? Moving on, there are groups who believe that Satan was an angel who is just seeking revenge on God because he betrayed him. There are religions that do not acknowledge Jesus whatsoever, and there are people who do not believe in a higher power at all.

Putting aside the belief that Jesus is the Son of God, let's look at him simply as a man who wanted to sacrifice himself for the good of mankind. How many of you could say that you would shoulder all of the world's sins and errors, and die for everyone? That's quite a humanitarian effort, to say the least. People try to heal the suffering all of the time, and this man thought sacrificing himself was the best way to help others. Bare bones -- think about that in general, no matter what your beliefs are. A man sacrificed for his people. He was taking pain away from people by feeling and experiencing that pain for them through his death. Whatever you believe happened after the day of the crucifixion is totally up to you. Would you be able to do what that man did? Would you want to? Do you think all of the people in the world are worthy of your self-sacrifice? Personally, I give him props for doing something I would not dare to.

I don't have the answer to world peace; I am just trying to express myself.

Now onto the power of prayer. A lot of people pray daily, often several times a day. People believe that the power of prayer helps them through life's obstacles. Then, there are people who do not believe in prayer and are like, "Who's listening?" because they think these people are just talking to themselves. For anyone who knows what The Secret or Law of Attraction is...you know that by thinking about something all the time or saying the same thing out loud is what will happen in your life. For instance, if you are having money issues, and you pray that you will find money or a means to help you financially, and you think about this constantly, eventually a solution will surface. Or, if you don't pray, but everyday you think that you will find a way to make ends meet, to pay those bills, to be financially stable, eventually a solution will surface. At the very least, bare bones -- if you don't believe a higher being hears prayers, you at least have to agree that thinking positively on a constant basis will help you find inner strength and will help you through life struggles. Wherever you believe that inner strength comes from... Allah, yourself, nature... at least you've found it, and you are better off than you were before.

I really hope this didn't offend anyone. My message is basically this: wherever you find your source of strength, your inner happiness, and your motivation to keep on living... by all means, continue to use that source. Stand by your convictions and believe in what you think helps you the most.

In Moderation

So I'm learning how to let go of things that are unhealthy, mentally and physically. People always say too much of a good thing is bad, like certain foods and alcohol. I think people focus too much on the wrong things. People enjoy food and cigarettes and alcohol...and whoever read a previous post knows that I believe "live and let live." However, I think people are out of focus of what is more important. Continue to enjoy whatever makes you happy, but honestly, I think the wrong stuff is in moderation. We are told daily to cut back on the bad food and to stop smoking packs of cigarettes a day. Obviously if these messages are everywhere, then we indulge in stuff that is unhealthy for us instead of what can improve our lives. This is really hard to put into text, but basically what I am saying is: we are told to do certain stuff in moderation because we do too much of it and it is harmful. In turn, we are told to do more of the good stuff because we aren't doing enough. Basically, we do more bad than good. I guess that's the easiest way to explain what I am trying to say. Like, why are we told to quit smoking so much and encouraged to exercise more? Does anyone else see just how upside down, backward, and warped that is?

Rather than overdosing on drugs, alcohol, junk food, reality TV, sex, etc., if people overdose on good stuff such as community service, making other people laugh, smiling, thinking positively, doing good deeds for neighbors and friends...you get the idea...just imagine how much better the world would be.

"Finally"

I've been with me my whole life,
But I swore others knew me better than I knew myself.
I stared into the mirror. "Why are you this way?"
It was hard to see into those eyes, so I closed them and cried.

I've been with me my whole life,
But I swore I could not take my own advice.
I stared into the mirror. "You must end this."
It was a struggle to let go of things I thought I couldn't live without, so I held on.

I've been with me my whole life,
But I swore I needed to change my ways.
I stared into the mirror. "Who are you?"
It was frightening to face the reflection of a distant stranger, so I turned away.

I've been with me my whole life,
But I swore I had everything in control.
I stared into the mirror. "Girl, you got it all wrong."
It was the intense glare back that made me ashamed, so I confronted it.

I've been with me my whole life,
But I swore I've never felt so alone.
I stared into the mirror. "You can do this."
It was inspiring to look at this image, and I was made stronger.

I've been with me my whole life,
And I swear I'm learning more about me every day.
I stare into the mirror. "There I am, through the fog."
It is refreshing to find the genuine smile of someone familiar.

I've been with me my whole life,
But I have had others along for the ride.
Fighting to be the half of empty wholes,
I'm discovering who I am on my own,
Slowly...surely...
Finally.

A Quickie

Have you ever wondered what it would be like to just strap a backpack on with food and water, no cell phone or any kind of way to contact anyone? To be able to just walk in the mountains...I'm not talking about for a few hours, I mean for months. Just to let go and not look back. How freeing would that be? How liberating would you feel, just to walk away? I don't mean to walk away from problems (cause no matter where you go, they're still there!), but just to clear your head, to live like an undomesticated animal without any worries except to find food and water for survival.

Honestly, anyone who can truly rid themselves of all materialism and all of society's barriers and obligations, has reached inner peace. And obviously we know of philosophies that encourage this.

I wholeheartedly believe that once a person can live without worrying about money and bills, a person can truly focus on one's self. This is essentially how life is meant to be lived.

It's too bad it can't be that easy because once you return to "civilized" (notice the quotes, ha ha) life, you return to all of those obligations...but have you ever felt like you should just go off and do it anyway?

QUIT YOUR CRYING!!!!!

*Don't feel like getting up for work because you're dreading another day in the office? ... QUIT YOUR CRYING. With thousands of layoffs weekly in the US alone, and a global recession, be glad you got a boss at all, whether he or she treats you well or not.

*Slacking at college, sleeping in and missing class because your professor is mad boring? ... QUIT YOUR CRYING. There are bright minds out there who cannot go to school for many reasons. Maybe they cannot afford it. Maybe they have to have a full-time job because their family needs their support. Maybe their dream school is the one you are attending and complaining about, but they didn't get in and they are crushed, while you are sitting in the classroom they wish they could be in, falling asleep and anticipating the day you never have to go back to class. (I'm guilty of this one)

*Did Mom cook some nasty food for dinner that you just couldn't force yourself to eat, so you threw it away? ... QUIT YOUR CRYING. One convenience store in the US has more food in it than some cities in the third world. Nasty or not, think about the people who would kill for a plate as full as yours with anything that is edible to keep them alive for one more day.

*Had to take a cold shower this morning and that just pissed you off for the rest of the day? ... QUIT YOUR CRYING. There are places all over the US and the world without running water. At least you don't have to shower with well water in a bucket or in a lake that'll only make you dirtier or sick.

*Parents got you mad because they're on your back for not cleaning your room? Unless they are abusive ... QUIT YOUR CRYING. Be grateful to have parents who want you to learn responsibility. Be grateful to have parents PERIOD. There are families out there with parents who get locked up every six months, who neglect their kids because they think crime and violence will bring food to the table, either not realizing or totally ignoring how much of a negative, not beneficial, effect they are having on their families. They think they're being heroes by giving their loved ones stolen things so they can eat and be happy. Then, there are mothers and fathers who pay no mind to their kids because they are way too busy to even yell at them for having a messy room. There are also families who may be without a mother or father because one of them, or maybe both of them, passed away. There are kids out there who wish they could have one more day with their parents yelling at them because they miss them like crazy.

I can go on and on and ON about the things and the people that are taken for granted. Take a step back and realize that there are people struggling every single damn day for what you have and for what you wish you didn't have. And just because I wrote this doesn't mean I don't do these things. There are times that I complain, but I realize that there is no reason to. On my end, life is good.

flowin

What I been lookin for externally
has just been found internally.
Got an idea of where I’m headin,
the past ain’t worth regrettin.
Got a new outlook toward the horizon,
for sure I’ll be risin,
Like the sun, only higher,
cause limits are tired.

And I don’t just speak words,
actions follow.
My dreams are concrete,
they ain’t hollow.
Watch where I be in a few years,
it’ll bring you to tears
Of joy because I made it,
it’ll make you elated.

Filled with too much possibilities
to focus on negativity.
Won’t be brought down by disbelief
cause pessimism is a common thief
Of visions in hungry eyes
that go blind by words that demoralize.
So I’m deaf to that ridiculous shit I hear
cause I know I got nothin to fear.

"I Ain't Mad At Cha"

I was just listening to Tupac. I really think "I Ain't Mad At Cha" reflects my life, and it's definitely one of my favorites. You're probably thinking, "How can this girl relate??"

I left high school and pretty much never looked back. I only keep in touch with two people from my high school - a guy who graduated like two years after me, who I never even hung out with while I was in school, and a girl who only went to my school for the last half of senior year, and she now lives in PA. I'm on social networking sites, and even though I'm "friends" with my old classmates, I hardly ever go out of my way to message them or leave comments. It is very true that you realize who your real friends are once you leave for college.

Now that I am out of college, I've realized my high school friends are just like my high school sweetheart - a thing of the past. We all grew apart. We don't hate each other, we just don't relate to each other anymore. Our interests are different and our priorities have changed. I'm glad things haven't changed (yet) between me and my college friends, and I know I'm a lot more proactive about maintaining our relationship than I am with maintaining those from high school because I've gone through a lot more with them than my old friends.

As for Tupac - I probably relate to his song more than my old friends (who I would still help out if they needed a hand and wouldn't mind reconnecting with, if life permits it). We all go our separate ways - some people are bitter about it, maybe even jealous when they see their friends succeeding while they're trying to find their own path. Some are happy to watch their friends living the lives they have always dreamed of. Others are disgusted by people they knew in high school because they're not doing anything substantial with their lives even though they have great potential.

Overall, what I get out of the song is that Tupac could've cared less about what his old friends and associates thought of him - he's doing his thing (or was), and that's what life's all about. It's about making sure your happiness is preserved, and you're doing what you enjoy while you're still here. Tupac wasn't mad at anyone who criticized him, and that supports my strong belief that life is measured not by the tests it gives you, but how you react to them.

Was it Brian Tracy who said you're the most important person in your life? Or Stephen Covey? Some author or speaker said it, and it is true. You gotta take care of yourself first above all. That's why the flight attendants tell you to put your own oxygen mask on before helping someone else with theirs.

"Let All That You Do Be in Love."

-1 Corinthians 16:14

I haven't actually read the Bible (at least not the whole thing). I found this verse written on a piece of glass at my grandmother's house. I don't take anything for granted, and I believe everything happens for a reason. I had visited my grandmother and my family in the Philippines last month because she (RIP) was sick in the hospital. Not only did her funeral impact me, but the 26 days there seriously changed my life. And now, this simple sentence is my new motivation in life.

I took a picture of that piece of glass, and it is the background on my phone. When I open my cell, it reminds me to do no harm, to do nothing bad that would compromise my character, and to remember to love everyone - enemies and all. When I get a phone call or text from someone I am trying to avoid for whatever reason, this quote helps me ignore anyone who is a negative influence on me.

I believe my grandmother is my guardian angel. I hadn't seen her since I was 11 or 12, and I am 23 now. Even before her death, since visiting the Philippines in 1997, whenever I did anything wrong, or thought about it, I always wondered how she'd feel and what she'd think of me, as if she were watching me. In some way, I've always felt connected to her, as if she was always there to keep me in check to ensure I don't disappoint her. I always had to keep reminding myself that she was still alive, that there was no way she would ever know what I was planning on doing, or what I had already done.

Now that she is in heaven, she's definitely watching. I really feel like she's guarding me from the situations I used to put myself in, or think about doing. I'm talking big and small situations - big ones I'd rather not mention, and small ones like whether or not to drink or get angry at someone or lie (that's not really small, depending on the circumstance). So now, whenever a situation is presented to me that I feel I should not involve myself in, I think about her, and I think about the verse: "Let all that you do be in love." And questions go through my mind: is it worth it? Is this something that is in love or that is kind? Will this benefit me or anyone else in any way? These questions stop me from a lot now, and I am so grateful for the visit to the Philippines. Not just because I was able to be with Lola (that's what we call grandmother in the Philippines) during her last two days, not just because I was able to see my family whom I haven't seen or spoken to in 11 years, but also because I found this verse, and I'm slowly beginning to realize what I need to do to live a positive life, and I'm moving toward a sense of inner peace.