Been a Long Time...

It's fitting to talk about the speed of life, considering I've been putting off writing a new post every day thinking it wouldn't be over a month until I would again. But it has been over a month. I started slacking on this around August, I think, and got caught up in my life. Things changed. I got a full time job. I'm moving into an apartment. I got engaged (had to find a way to throw this in the post somehow!). I think people tend to put things off thinking that they'll get whatever it is they gotta do done within a certain time period without a problem. Then time just slips away. I don't know if I would call this procrastinating necessarily, just prioritizing, I guess. But I've realized if this is prioritizing, then I'm pretty screwed up about what I think is most important to do in life.

We tend to lose sight of the big picture when we're caught up in the pieces rather than the whole of the puzzle. Yeah, I had to highlight that because sometimes I get kinda conceited and proud of the stuff my brain puts together. We all wanna show off sometimes. Anyway, aside from that, it is a good point. It's been said that you cannot be motivated to do anything if you don't know where you're going. It's like driving and only looking at the car in front of you. You'll get side swiped when you don't notice the idiot next to you trying to switch lanes who also doesn't see you because he or she is too busy focusing on one thing rather than the road as a whole.

The puzzle pieces of my life include but are not limited to: education, bills, work, socializing, working out, buying stuff. The whole of the puzzle is: making sure I'm healthy, successful, and that everyone in my life, including me, is happy. When we start to get bored commuting to and from work, that's us letting the whole puzzle picture slip from our minds. When we choose parties over going to bed early enough to wake up to get errands done, that's us saying, "F*** you, puzzle picture. I want my fun," when in reality, depending on the importance of the errands, we could be screwing ourselves over, and inevitably, the fun wouldn't have been worth it after all. It's short-term happiness overriding long-term happiness. We forget our purpose when we trivialize our everyday routine and start to complain about it or put stupid little things ahead of what actually matters. I'm not saying don't have your fun. I'm saying get your life in order so that you can have your fun and fulfill your overall reason for living. There are countless stories of workaholics who put their families to the side, practically kick them to the curb, in order to earn a promotion or complete a task well before deadline. Nice job, you've won but your family life sucks. You're not married to your boss (well, you might be, but you see what I'm getting at). Who are you more faithful to, a higher-up you're sucking up to for like 10 cents more on a paycheck, or the man or woman who is at home waiting to finally see you at the end of a long day?

Not trying to sound like a self-help book, but put into perspective how your puzzle pieces affect the whole picture. How do the little things add up to one whole? Are the little pieces worth it? Are you able to have every piece, no matter how big or small, fit into your life? Do you consider yourself happy overall?

If you could look at yourself naked in a mirror while eating and not want to cry, then you're happy with your body. That's kinda like life. If you could strip away the parties, alcohol, drugs, anything materialistic like a flat screen or a closet full of clothes, anything God would consider "worldly" possessions, and not feel alone or unimportant, then you're truly happy with yourself.

Step back and think about what you do daily. Think about the importance of everything you do. Don't forget that even though bumper to bumper traffic is hell in the morning, the road you're on is leading you to where you need to be for a reason. Be able to smile about it.

So, What Do You Want to be When You Grow Up?

This question has plagued me since I was a child, probably around four years old. Here's a list of a few things I've thought about being since then (some more or less realistic than others...I'm sure you could figure out which is which!):

• Movie Director
• Novelist
• Fashion Designer
• Teacher
• Restaurant Owner
• Night Club Owner
• Astronaut
• Pro Basketball Player
• Ballerina
• Physical Therapist
• Obstetrician
• Archaeologist
• Psychologist
• Flight Attendant
• Photographer
• Newspaper Columnist
• Magazine Editor
• Pediatrician

The list is pretty all over the place, like I am now. There are a billion and one things I want to do, and I want more than one career path in my life because, to me, life is too short to settle on one type of job. I graduated college in 2008, but witnessing other people graduate recently has made me reflect on my own education and my future.

I loved being creative with the question, "What do you want to be when you grow up?" I dreamed big when I was younger, just as I do now. The only difference? I'm GROWN. So, now the question is, "What are you doing?" And I wish I could be as creative as I was when I was younger, able to just choose an answer out of thin air.

I am not saying I wasted my time in college. I am not saying I'm wasting my time now. I heard the warnings and the advice: have a game plan; if don't know what you want to do, you won't get anywhere. I thought I was following those words; I thought I knew what I wanted. I just don't know anymore.

I am not one to give up, and I am not one to be pessimistic. I just have a change of heart. It's wanting too much and not settling on just one thing for the time being. It's having commitment issues. I stayed with my Comm degree, but fluctuated on my second degree and my two minors until I settled with Comm and a Sociology minor. I spread myself too thin. I saw so many options, and I guess I became overwhelmed. I thought I wanted to do PR with a nonprofit organization. That is still my main focus. But there aren't too many opportunities out there. I know what I want, but yet I'm still confused? Maybe it's self-doubt, maybe it's the reality of our economy sinking in, or maybe I am always looking beyond, looking at what else is out there that I don't want to miss out on.

I am writing this because I know so many people who've just graduated or who've been out of college for like a year or two now. A lot of us are feeling this same way. Job searching is like a job in itself. Finding our place in society, making a name for ourselves, attempting to be real world adults...it looked so easy and effortless 20 years ago. Now we have people who are like me, going back to school to chase yet another dream, or to substitute the one they thought would get them to where they want to be. We've got people working jobs that they really hate. It sucks having to do something that only makes us feel worse, rather than being in a position in which we feel passionate and happy.

In time, things will always fall into place the way we want them to. We have to keep our heads up. We have to keep that determination, that fire, that spirit. We have to be tireless in our efforts. Even the most successful people tried and failed countless times, even though it seems like everything comes easy to them...

"The great Henry Aaron hit a home run 755 times in his career, but failed to do so almost 12,000 times." - John Szarkowski

101 Goals in 1,001 Days

I don't know if anyone has heard of this concept, but I have decided to commit to this project. Basically, I made a list of 101 goals that I want to accomplish in the next 1,001 days beginning tomorrow, Wednesday, February 25, 2009. I am going to start a second blog: journeyto101.blogspot.com.