2005?! Throwback?! WHAT?!?!

Radio has officially aged me too quickly.

On my way in to work this morning, I got all excited cause the radio was hyping up a throwback, and I like throwbacks. I'm thinkin, "Hmm, who could this possibly be?!"

Next thing I hear is, "Gotta stay fly-y-y-y-y-y-y." Damn. That came out in 2005 or 06. When I was in COLLEGE. Not too long ago. At all.

When I think throwback, I expect something that came out no later than 1996; anything after that is pushing it. Really pushing it. Just because it may not have been played in some time does not mean it should be called a throwback. When the DJ hypes up a throwback jam, one that will really bring us back, I don't expect anything after 2000. Come on now. Who really does?! Maybe I'm just in denial that time is going by quickly and songs that have been around for six or seven years are pretty old school already. I refuse to believe it.

When it comes to throwbacks that have come out within my lifetime of almost 24 years, I expect the DJ to be hyping up "One in a Million" Aaliyah, Brandy sittin up in her room, R. Kelly wanting to go half, Nastradamus, The Fugees, TLC creepin around, Wu-Tang, Dru Hill killing the "Rush Hour" soundtrack, Mary J. pre-boost in personal strength.

"Throwback" should not be laid on anything that hasn't been around for at least 10 years. The next time I hear "throwback" and something like "Virgo" or "Salt Shaker" plays, I'm not gonna feel bad for myself. I'm gonna feel bad for anyone older than me. Cause if Mr. DJ is calling songs from 2002-2006 throwbacks, I can't imagine how anyone born before 1985 must feel. I am so sorry.

Yo, Eminem is SO ON POINT.

For those who hate reading long entries, or reading at all, I bolded the parts that really matter. Maybe by reading the bold parts you'll want to read the rest. Ha, that's funny.

[Damn, I just realized I bolded like all of it. I guess all of it matters. Oh well. READ.]

"I am whatever you say I am." Dude, that is so true. F what you heard. Rap music, especially Em, rattles your bones and just forces you to think. It's not about being blinged out and driving fancy cars. It's not like other music that's only about falling in and out of love. It's not just about getting drunk and high, then hitting a club and bring b****** home. It talks about some real ill sh**, things that I can't relate to because I didn't grow up anywhere near the streets and because I do not have a hard knock life so far, but still... it's the best kind of music because it's like reading a book, listening to a story. We don't necessarily read a book or watch a movie because we can relate to it. If anything, the stuff we don't know about intrigues us the most, hence why we like watching horror films or sci-fi flicks. Like, hello, does that have anything to do with your life? Nah, it doesn't it. And rap music for the most part has nothing to do with mine, but I love it because the raw energy and emotions are deep, the words get you thinking about how you react to life and certain situations, and that is what music is all about. You know what, I can relate to some of it, obviously, otherwise Eminem would have nothing to do with this entry. Uh duh. That's why I say give everything and everyone a chance because you'll never know what you'll learn.

Anyway, this entry really has nothing to do with rap, or music at all, but if you read the section to the left, I warned you about tangents. So deal like we're playing cards. Word. You like that on-the-spot analogy? I can be quick with it, see? Here I go again, let me stop.

SO, for the real part of this entry (cause the whole part before this was fake)...

Yo, Eminem is SO ON POINT. Yeah, I said it twice for emphasis. And it's half in caps, so I must mean business. For all of you who don't know why Eminem is being brought up, check his lyrics to "The Way I Am." Anyway, I got to thinking about who I am from the outside looking in. Like, I know me, for the most part, and I say for the most part because I always surprise myself with the things that I do, and I am still a work-in-progress project and won't know who I am completely until my last breath when I can finally say, "I AM DONE" because God says I am.

I don't normally care about how people judge me. Actually, I do care because I don't want to be hated. Anyway, what I am trying to finally get to saying is... (wow, that was a mouthful) who the hell am I TO YOU?! I know who I am to me. I am not too mean, not too nice, I am somewhere in the middle. I'm not too fat, not too thin, I am just right. And people like just right, right? Think Goldilocks, even though she's not a real person, she's fake like the first half of this post.

Now think of "The Way I Am" (Goldilocks...Eminem...only I could bring these two together). Anyway, it essentially does not matter what I think about me. What matters is what others think about me. It's because how people perceive me is who I am TO THEM. That's how we get along or not, that's how we are friends or enemies. People don't like you because of who YOU think you are. They like you (or dislike you) for who THEY think you are. Make sense? I know it's a crazy jungle of jumbled words, but bear with me. This ish is getting deeper than I thought! Remember when I said I surprise myself? This entry is one of them moments. And I'm glad to share the experience with you all on the World Wide Web.

So, like Eminem points out, I am whatever you say I am. That's just life. It is whatever you think it is. We are nothing but a bundle of someone's thought process, if that makes any sense. We're just a perception. And I'm feeling like I'm in my freshman year of Intro to Philosophy.

I am what you thought I was in high school. I am what you thought I was in college. I am what you think I am through this blog. But is that truly me? Is that really who I am? To you it is, and I can't really control that, I can just hope you see me in a positive light.

"I Ain't Mad At Cha"

I was just listening to Tupac. I really think "I Ain't Mad At Cha" reflects my life, and it's definitely one of my favorites. You're probably thinking, "How can this girl relate??"

I left high school and pretty much never looked back. I only keep in touch with two people from my high school - a guy who graduated like two years after me, who I never even hung out with while I was in school, and a girl who only went to my school for the last half of senior year, and she now lives in PA. I'm on social networking sites, and even though I'm "friends" with my old classmates, I hardly ever go out of my way to message them or leave comments. It is very true that you realize who your real friends are once you leave for college.

Now that I am out of college, I've realized my high school friends are just like my high school sweetheart - a thing of the past. We all grew apart. We don't hate each other, we just don't relate to each other anymore. Our interests are different and our priorities have changed. I'm glad things haven't changed (yet) between me and my college friends, and I know I'm a lot more proactive about maintaining our relationship than I am with maintaining those from high school because I've gone through a lot more with them than my old friends.

As for Tupac - I probably relate to his song more than my old friends (who I would still help out if they needed a hand and wouldn't mind reconnecting with, if life permits it). We all go our separate ways - some people are bitter about it, maybe even jealous when they see their friends succeeding while they're trying to find their own path. Some are happy to watch their friends living the lives they have always dreamed of. Others are disgusted by people they knew in high school because they're not doing anything substantial with their lives even though they have great potential.

Overall, what I get out of the song is that Tupac could've cared less about what his old friends and associates thought of him - he's doing his thing (or was), and that's what life's all about. It's about making sure your happiness is preserved, and you're doing what you enjoy while you're still here. Tupac wasn't mad at anyone who criticized him, and that supports my strong belief that life is measured not by the tests it gives you, but how you react to them.

Was it Brian Tracy who said you're the most important person in your life? Or Stephen Covey? Some author or speaker said it, and it is true. You gotta take care of yourself first above all. That's why the flight attendants tell you to put your own oxygen mask on before helping someone else with theirs.

The Sound of Feelings

Without music, the world would not be as colorful as it is. I think the reason for my taste in music has a lot to do with the fact that I understand people express themselves in different ways. For instance, not everyone can sing as soulfully as…let’s say Stevie Wonder. On the flip side, not everyone can rap like KRS-One or play like Hendrix. However, most of us, if not all of us, have a desire to express ourselves in the best way we know how. People are closed off to different music genres, claiming that one is better than the other. Of course it’s fine to have preferences, but ALL OF IT is considered MUSIC. We all have our opinions, but as for my own…I don’t think anyone has the right to say one genre is not as “real” as another. What I’m referring to is the old joke that “rap music” is an oxymoron.

Like I said, people choose to express themselves the best way they know how and with what they are most talented in, to show people how they feel or to voice their opinions. I remember telling a friend of mine that people should not denounce rap. Rappers are people who may not be able to sing, but like sharing their thoughts through music, the way they know how.

I listen to everything, whether it be rock or country or reggae. It all depends on how I’m feeling on a certain day, or what I am doing. For instance, Bob Marley is the best to listen to on a warm day when you’re driving for a while (like on a stretch of the Garden State Parkway) with the windows down and the wind blowing through your hair. Keith Urban is the only country artist I really listen to, but he’s also a Parkway favorite, as well as Maroon 5 and John Mayer. Once the evening hits, R&B and acoustic is on rotation. I could listen to old and new R&B, from the Temptations to Ne-Yo. Cousins in the Philippines got me listening to Boyce Avenue’s acoustic covers, which is my newfound love! In the morning when I need to wake up and coffee can’t do the trick, I blast some rock music or turn on a Christian radio station. When I’m working out, I listen to dance mixes of my favorite songs and upbeat hip hop.

Basically, I cannot listen to only one genre of music. Life is too diverse, and it needs an eclectic soundtrack to go along with it.

And now for your viewing and listening pleasure, Alejandro Manzano of Boyce Avenue...check out the whole band on YouTube. I am now a fan!