Been a Long Time...

It's fitting to talk about the speed of life, considering I've been putting off writing a new post every day thinking it wouldn't be over a month until I would again. But it has been over a month. I started slacking on this around August, I think, and got caught up in my life. Things changed. I got a full time job. I'm moving into an apartment. I got engaged (had to find a way to throw this in the post somehow!). I think people tend to put things off thinking that they'll get whatever it is they gotta do done within a certain time period without a problem. Then time just slips away. I don't know if I would call this procrastinating necessarily, just prioritizing, I guess. But I've realized if this is prioritizing, then I'm pretty screwed up about what I think is most important to do in life.

We tend to lose sight of the big picture when we're caught up in the pieces rather than the whole of the puzzle. Yeah, I had to highlight that because sometimes I get kinda conceited and proud of the stuff my brain puts together. We all wanna show off sometimes. Anyway, aside from that, it is a good point. It's been said that you cannot be motivated to do anything if you don't know where you're going. It's like driving and only looking at the car in front of you. You'll get side swiped when you don't notice the idiot next to you trying to switch lanes who also doesn't see you because he or she is too busy focusing on one thing rather than the road as a whole.

The puzzle pieces of my life include but are not limited to: education, bills, work, socializing, working out, buying stuff. The whole of the puzzle is: making sure I'm healthy, successful, and that everyone in my life, including me, is happy. When we start to get bored commuting to and from work, that's us letting the whole puzzle picture slip from our minds. When we choose parties over going to bed early enough to wake up to get errands done, that's us saying, "F*** you, puzzle picture. I want my fun," when in reality, depending on the importance of the errands, we could be screwing ourselves over, and inevitably, the fun wouldn't have been worth it after all. It's short-term happiness overriding long-term happiness. We forget our purpose when we trivialize our everyday routine and start to complain about it or put stupid little things ahead of what actually matters. I'm not saying don't have your fun. I'm saying get your life in order so that you can have your fun and fulfill your overall reason for living. There are countless stories of workaholics who put their families to the side, practically kick them to the curb, in order to earn a promotion or complete a task well before deadline. Nice job, you've won but your family life sucks. You're not married to your boss (well, you might be, but you see what I'm getting at). Who are you more faithful to, a higher-up you're sucking up to for like 10 cents more on a paycheck, or the man or woman who is at home waiting to finally see you at the end of a long day?

Not trying to sound like a self-help book, but put into perspective how your puzzle pieces affect the whole picture. How do the little things add up to one whole? Are the little pieces worth it? Are you able to have every piece, no matter how big or small, fit into your life? Do you consider yourself happy overall?

If you could look at yourself naked in a mirror while eating and not want to cry, then you're happy with your body. That's kinda like life. If you could strip away the parties, alcohol, drugs, anything materialistic like a flat screen or a closet full of clothes, anything God would consider "worldly" possessions, and not feel alone or unimportant, then you're truly happy with yourself.

Step back and think about what you do daily. Think about the importance of everything you do. Don't forget that even though bumper to bumper traffic is hell in the morning, the road you're on is leading you to where you need to be for a reason. Be able to smile about it.

2005?! Throwback?! WHAT?!?!

Radio has officially aged me too quickly.

On my way in to work this morning, I got all excited cause the radio was hyping up a throwback, and I like throwbacks. I'm thinkin, "Hmm, who could this possibly be?!"

Next thing I hear is, "Gotta stay fly-y-y-y-y-y-y." Damn. That came out in 2005 or 06. When I was in COLLEGE. Not too long ago. At all.

When I think throwback, I expect something that came out no later than 1996; anything after that is pushing it. Really pushing it. Just because it may not have been played in some time does not mean it should be called a throwback. When the DJ hypes up a throwback jam, one that will really bring us back, I don't expect anything after 2000. Come on now. Who really does?! Maybe I'm just in denial that time is going by quickly and songs that have been around for six or seven years are pretty old school already. I refuse to believe it.

When it comes to throwbacks that have come out within my lifetime of almost 24 years, I expect the DJ to be hyping up "One in a Million" Aaliyah, Brandy sittin up in her room, R. Kelly wanting to go half, Nastradamus, The Fugees, TLC creepin around, Wu-Tang, Dru Hill killing the "Rush Hour" soundtrack, Mary J. pre-boost in personal strength.

"Throwback" should not be laid on anything that hasn't been around for at least 10 years. The next time I hear "throwback" and something like "Virgo" or "Salt Shaker" plays, I'm not gonna feel bad for myself. I'm gonna feel bad for anyone older than me. Cause if Mr. DJ is calling songs from 2002-2006 throwbacks, I can't imagine how anyone born before 1985 must feel. I am so sorry.

It's the Little Things in Life That Make Me Smile, Such As...

1. Realizing that someone has Verizon when they text me!
2. Getting new mail, texts, or e-mail. I don't really know how to explain why.
3. Finding a new way home from work that cuts my driving time in half (it's rough working at the beach when it gets mad crowded on Routes 37 and 571...what you know about that, Jersey?!).
4. A book that I could actually finish because it's actually good (currently reading Single Wife and I highly recommend it!).
5. Finding good deals on CDs and DVDs on Amazon.com(visit http://journeyto101.blogspot.com and you'll know why).
6. Finding long lost lip gloss and eye liner pens, the top two things that I consistently lose.
7. Seeing little kids out with their grandparents. For some reason, that image is just sooo adorable to me!
8. Sarcastic one liners.
9. Someone I don't know holding the door open for me.
10. Seeing other people smile.
11. Finding the perfect shoes to go with a dress within 30 minutes of having to wear the outfit.
12. Sunny days amidst weeks of rain.
13. Butterflies.
14. Catching a good movie right at the beginning while flipping through the channels.
15. Positive human interest stories in the paper.
16. Running into people I've been friends with in the past whom (who? this always confuses me!) I haven't seen in a while.
17. Monster Energy drink. I'm a self-diagnosed narcoleptic, and I'm hooked on the extra big size to keep me awake while hanging out with people and watching movies (warning: I doze off on couches; it doesn't matter how many people are or who's around!).
18. Someone letting me into their lane when I'm merging.
19. Hearing a song on the radio that I haven't heard in years (just the other day I heard Blaque's "Bring It All to Me," which brought me back!).
20. My warm bed!
21. Getting a good work out.
22. Waking up to (a good) breakfast already made.
23. Discovering a good radio station.
24. People I don't know saying hello and being polite to me.
25. Hearing other people laugh because they're genuinely happy.

Likes

I believe in balance. You can't just think about the negatives and the downside of life; you need to also see the bright side, and vice versa. So, to be fair to yesterday's list, here are my likes:

• "Hannah Montana." Laugh. Go ahead. It's a guilty pleasure. I think the show is hilarious! I guess it's because I'm a writer, and when I hear a good line, I think, "Damn, Why couldn't I come up with that?"
• Competition. I'm not really a sore loser, I play one on TV. No, but seriously, it's all an act. I am very competitive, but not very, very good at anything in particular. However, I am pretty decent and when I know I can win but I don't, I think, "Yo, I totally had a chance. How'd I blow it?" If I had my way, I'd play a game until I come out with more wins than losses. But again, I am NOT a sore loser ;)
• Oldies. I love blasting Stevie Wonder's more upbeat tracks in my car, and I listen to old school Michael Jackson like I'm getting paid to play his songs. I am a sucker for Motown! I like The Temptations, The Four Tops, Jackie Wilson, etc. Motown produced some of the most positive and refreshing music ever. "The Way You Do The Things You Do" is one of my favorite songs. When I had an apartment, I used to pop open the windows and blast this song while cleaning and dancing like a loser...of course, when no one else was around.
• Windows. Lots and lots of windows. Big windows. Let the sun shine in! Or the stars! I love it when rooms have huge, huge windows and great views. I like how bright the room feels when natural light comes in. I am a daydreamer, and so I think this also has a lot to do with the fact that when I am in deep thought, I tend to look outside.
• Sleep. I love sleeping, but my body naturally wakes up at like 8 am, no later than 9 am, which is why I tend to post early in the morning moreso than any other time of day. Unless I am going out at night, I try to go to bed by like 11 pm to compensate for the inability to sleep in.
• The smell of freshly cut grass. If they could bottle it up (unless they already did...sounds like something to Google!) I would totally spray it all over my house.
• Australian accents. They're just the coolest ever, hands down.
• Airplane rides. I don't mind 13-hour flights. I think it's because I could literally sleep anywhere, and I think airplane seats are so comfortable! Plus, I like that longer flights play movies and some even provide personal screens so you could watch anything you want at any time. I could live on an airplane. I don't know why I like flying so much, but I do.
• Unlimited texting. I text a whole lot, and have gotten in trouble for it in the past. When I just have one thing to say, I just text real quick because I don't want to call. I don't want to go through the whole, "Hey, how are you? I'm fine. It's a nice day, huh? Blah, blah blah... Well I'll call you later. Bye." For me it's awkward. I"ll only call when I want to have an actual conversation. Cut out the flowery ish and just go straight to the point and you don't need to prolong a quick message that, in a text, would have just began with what you wanted to tell the person and ended with the person texting back, "OK." Short and sweet, like me :)
• Tofu. Weird, right? I like tofu with soy sauce, bean sprouts, and mushrooms. I eat strange food. If you know me in real life, then you know not to leave it up to me to cook dinner.

Dislikes

I think it's about time for those few who are following to get to know me a little more (and it's about time I post again!). Here are my dislikes in no particular order:

• Wrestling. And I mean the "professional" wrestling that is obviously staged and super over dramatic.
• Getting lost. I do that all too often. My next investment is a GPS. I mean, I spend more money on gas when I don't know where I'm going than I would on a GPS, so I might as well buy one.
• Losing things. More like misplacing things, actually. I do that often also.
• Repitition. After the third time someone says, "Can you repeat that?" or I have to reiterate repeatedly, I've just about had it with that person.
• Kids having temper tantrums in public.
• When parents give in to kids having temper tantrums in public. Could this possibly be linked to the growing obese population? ("Mommy, buy me that King Size Snickers right now, or I will scream at the top of my lungs!" + "Okay, son, just shut up already!" = overweight American kids? YOU do the math).
• Twitter. No offense to the millions of people using it! I just don't know why we have to know every second of your life. "Following" is like "stalking with permission." It's fine for this blog because it's not my daily life typed out every second. Following on this blog is more like being subscribed to it. So please, don't stop following because I don't like "following." Please note the difference between quotations and no quotations :)
• Chocolate. I know what you're thinking: "What kinda girl are you?" It makes me gag unless it's mixed with other things like ice cream or peanut butter. I barely ever eat chocolate.
• Grammatical errors. This really peeves me. Even in text messages when people don't realize what words T-9 does not recognize. I sometimes go back and read my old posts, then fix any grammar and spelling mistakes. I kinda stopped doing that because it seems really anal of me, huh?
• Abbreviations while speaking. Ugghhh, this one bugs me! I especially can't stand when people say out loud, "OMG!" Seriously? I hear that one the most, and it irritates me more every time someone says it.
• Cocky police officers. They really let "power" get to their heads. It bothers me to even explain this one, so I won't.
• Cockiness PERIOD. Yeah, you're good at something. We all know. Why rub it in so deep our skin starts to bleed?
• Newspapers. They're just SO boring. I understand it's meant to just be news and pretty much regurgitate something that happened so that it's 100% as factual as possible. However, I think I should start a more modern newspaper that isn't so melodramatic and has more positive news.
• Ferrets. What is so cute about them??
• Jewelry. Again: "What kinda girl are you?!" I like jewelry, okay? It's just that in the morning that's just an extra thing I'd have to think about. So I don't bother unless I have to be dressed up, even then it's minimal. Or if I am going out and I find something that perfectly matches. Otherwise, I don't waste money or time. Plus, I need to be able to fight quickly. I can't be like, "Hold up. Let me take these rings off before we get into this." Just kidding. I'm nonviolent like Gandhi.
• The word "poop."

So Moved!!

I am a faithful Googler, and when I went to search something just now, I saw a link right below the search bar, and it was very, very inspiring! Children across the country submitted drawings for the Google logo to be displayed on its homepage. The drawings show what the children wish for the world. They are very creative, and their wishes range from world peace to environmental awareness.

Whoever is reading this blog should definitely go to Google.com and check out the amazing, amazing drawings, take into consideration these children's wishes, and vote for the drawings you like best!

Here is the link: http://www.google.com/doodle4google/index.html

Dreams

When we're asleep, our minds reveal to us symbols of our waking lives through dreams. I have had some vivid and realistic dreams lately, and I've become reliant on http://www.dreammoods.com to analyze what parts of my dreams mean.

When you visit the website, the top right has a box where you insert a word then click "Interpret." Obviously, you cannot describe the entire dream. I have gotten pretty good at typing in keywords. For instance, in a recent dream I was at home in my kitchen during a party and was pouring a glass of water on the counter next to the sink, but the water spilled everywhere, and it seemed like the glass exploded. Then a split second later, it seemed like the moment rewound and there was no spill or shattered glass, and the glass was full of water. That really bugged me out! I also saw some people in my dream who have been family friends for almost 20 years.
I was really curious to find out what all of this meant. So, I picked apart the dream. The words I typed in were: kitchen, water, glass, spill, sink, party, home, and friends.

I would describe how each symbol reflects my life and what they all mean...but that'd be boring as hell. To sum it up, this dream had a lot to do with rejuvenation and my mental and spiritual state. Some of the keywords have similar themes such as being optimistic and in need of warmth and spiritual healing.

I encourage you to look up these symbols yourself, especially ones that are commonly found in dreams, such as childhood friends and water. You have to also put in a lot of different aspects of your dream to fully understand what it means. Keep in my mind if you see yourself in the dream, if you're outside, inside, around people, or alone. Think about what people are wearing, what time of day it might be, what room in the house you are in. Were you holding a purse or a wallet? Were you walking on the sidewalk or the middle of the street, and did you see trees, houses, or any animals? Every little thing means something, otherwise our minds wouldn't show them to us.

Dream Moods seems pretty accurate, and oftentimes the descriptions really coincide with my life. I think it's very interesting to find out why I have certain dreams and how they relate to reality.

Pretty cool, huh?

Because I Am Who I Am ...

...I don't quite understand why people discourage others from pursuing their "pipe dreams." I say, go after what you want because you never know what could happen! If people listened to others who said they could not accomplish their extraordinary dreams, we would not have such technological advances, such amazing works of art, music, and film, a Black president, etc.

...I don't quite understand why people can't just leave each other alone. I am extremely open-minded. I have nothing against homosexuality, any religion, etc. I think if everyone was as open-minded as me, we'd have a much more peaceful world. Just because I don't do what you do or believe in what you believe, doesn't mean you have to make me change. Because I won't. I don't expect you to change your way life for me either. On the other hand, if we were all open to change and trying new things, we'd learn so much from each other, and overall we'd be well-rounded individuals with amazing life experiences.

...I can't imagine living anywhere but a busy suburb or city. I am not a country girl by any means. I need to be surrounded by people, and stores must be a short drive away. Even though the countryside is scenic and gorgeous, I cannot live in the middle of nowhere. Mad props to those who do because I'd get bored fast!

...I can't go a night without praying, but sometimes I forget, so I pray in the morning. I am not an avid church goer, but I do count my blessings and thank the Lord for everything and ask for my sins to be forgiven. I used to fall asleep in the middle of prayer, so now I pray on my knees so my full attention is on Him.

...I am overly sarcastic. Call it a defense mechanism, but it's my sense of humor. People say certain things and the sarcastic comments that come to mind fit like a glove in the conversation, so I don't keep them to myself because they're too genius not to share! It cuts like a knife at times, so I try my best to limit it around people I don't know, and around people who get offendended easily. Sometimes people take things too seriously, but that's because they are who they are, and I can respect that.

...I don't like drama. I am so laid back and chill that when people start complaining about things, I just tell them to brush it off and don't take it to heart. I know situations affect people in different ways and not everyone can just let things roll of their back, but because I am who I am...I got no stress, no stress, no stress! I don't let things upset me because it isn't worth the energy. At times I do get mad and I yell, but I cool off in like five minutes. No grudges = no wrinkles!

...I have a very strong competitive personality. Even if I'm not good at something, I will try so hard to be the best. I can be a sore loser at times, but it's no biggie; I just get caught up in the moment. Competing in things like sports gives me a major adrenaline rush. I like friendly competition, and you can only get better by competing with people who are on a higher level than you. So, bring it on!

...It takes a lot for me to get bored. I am like a little kid, and everything amuses me. I can do anything and have a good time, just like I can hang out with anyone and have fun.

...I like my "me" time and my privacy. Sometimes I prefer to be alone watching a movie or reading. I like shopping by myself, and I'd rather work out alone than with a partner. Both activities require a certain amount of time for me that just doesn't quite fit well with other people. I think privacy is healthy; it helps me stay sane, to be honest. "Me" time is extremely important to me for the same reason. Being by yourself really forces you to think about stuff, and it helps me resolve any problems or issues I might have at the moment.

...Writing is my escape. I've been writing stories ever since I learned how to write. Everyone has their escape from reality, whether it is movies, video games, or books. I realized, though, that novels are not my forte, and my goal is to be a published author of short stories and maybe poetry, but I'm not big on poetry. That's my so-called pipe dream!


I know not many people follow my blog or leave comments. However, I think it'd be interesting for those of you reading this to share in the comment section your own "Because I Am Who I Am..." It wouldn't surprise (or offend!) me if there are no comments. I don't expect this blog to be very interactive, anyway. It just made me think and put certain stuff in perspective for me. Maybe it'll do the same for you!

i feel like randomly rhyming

i get impulsive
gotta be explosive
stayin on top is my motiv-
ation to succeed
such a crazy need
to crush my competition and leave
them all behind
watch in due time
i gotsta get mine
dunno where the hell i'm goin with this rhyme
but i do know where i'm goin in life
and that's to ease the pain and strife
of those who could use me to there benefit
gotta stay healthy, positive, and be fit
cause people rely on me to fix their shit-
ty situations and life's complications
so i can't be negative or have hesitations
nah really, i can't stop flowin,
still dunno where this is goin
but like i said i got my life figured out
better than this rhyme, no doubt
addicted to typin this out
i'm just goin with it, cause who knows where this'll take me
like in reality
just gotta take a chance, who knows where i'll advance
and it's all about the adventure and the romance
but f* romance cause it's just a show
don't need no flowers or chocolates, oh hell no
i ain't down for that, don't put up an act
just show me who you are, i don't need all that
but this ain't a dating service, just flowin with these...verses?
haha, don't know what i'm doin
but it's a snow day so i'm chillin
don't like to play in the snow like children
but God's gift of beauty is laid out on my lawn
we gotta count our blessings, from dusk til dawn, big and small
i walk around wit confidence so high i feel ten feet tall
but i don't got a big head, i don't talk a big game
just eager to bite into my slice of life and establish my name
for some reason
this always goes back to my need for succeedin
but thats cause i'm constantly dreamin and movin toward achievin
this is gonna finally be over, done with this
cause backspace got abused like rihanna wit chris

"The Birthday Party"