My Dearly Beloved Yet Hated,
Pay attention and read carefully...
I hate how you make me so weary and tired, bulldozing me with some pretty damn difficult situations. I try to do the right thing, yet it doesn't seem to please or appease you. You just keep coming at me hard.
I hate the way you make me feel inadequate at times, questioning my confidence, my sincerity, and my motives. I do my best to give my all, but more often than not I've been a failure to you.
Just when I think everything is running smoothly and finally going my way, all of a sudden you throw something at me that ruins my plans or sets me back, and I hate that about you. It's almost like you don't think I deserve to be successful or have things go right.
I hate how you make it hard for me to do what I want. Why can't I just have my fun? Why must it be all work and no play most days? My plate could only be so full, and once in a while, I need some relaxation, and I'd appreciate some alone time.
As much as I hate what you do, I love the little surprises you give me that do nothing but make me smile. Even though you hurt me at times, you make up for it by doing things that make me feel blessed and truly appreciative of you.
I love how you make me feel good about myself. You make me feel so accomplished and able to tackle anything that comes my way. You've given me all that I have ever needed to go after what I want and overcome the bad things that find their way to me once in a while.
I love all of the people I have met through you, and all of the experiences that could not have been possible without you. I have had so much fun so far, and you've given me unforgettable memories. I'm looking forward to more.
So Life, read this carefully. I am so grateful to have you, the entire package, good and bad. Because if it were not for the bad, I wouldn't know how good I've got it. Life, for as long as you're around, this is going to be a love/hate battle. But I am the one who is really in control of this fight, and you will not defeat me.
I hate what you have done to me, but I love the person you are helping me become. Thank you for everything.
Sincerely,
Jamie
Showing posts with label struggle. Show all posts
Showing posts with label struggle. Show all posts
Thursday, September 10, 2009
Wednesday, July 22, 2009
I Like John Mayer, But...
"Waiting on the World to Change" is the most frustrating song. He mentions that people pretty much feel powerless against world leaders. If we were powerless, Mr. Mayer, we wouldn't be a democracy and other countries would not be striving to have our government's structure. I'm not big on politics, but I do know that the US citizens can mobilize for change, and we freakin better not be waiting on the world. Gandhi, and most recently President Obama, said it themselves...we must be the ones to provoke the change. The here and now is us. We cannot wait because tomorrow is not promised.
Picasso said it best: "Only put off until tomorrow what you are willing to die having left undone."
Are you willing to wait until change happens, risking even more suffering and turmoil for our future generations? If you are one of those people who think that the future doesn't matter anyway because you won't be here for it...this is what I have to say to that: YO, THIS WORLD IS NOT ABOUT YOU. OTHERWISE, IT'D END WHEN YOU DIE. But it goes on, buddy, and it will long after you're six feet under. We're not on Earth solely to fulfill our individual needs; otherwise, coexisting wouldn't be necessary.
That's just my rant for the morning. Man, John Mayer, you kinda lost my respect, unless I'm misinterpreting the song.
Anyway, have a good day people and think on this.
Picasso said it best: "Only put off until tomorrow what you are willing to die having left undone."
Are you willing to wait until change happens, risking even more suffering and turmoil for our future generations? If you are one of those people who think that the future doesn't matter anyway because you won't be here for it...this is what I have to say to that: YO, THIS WORLD IS NOT ABOUT YOU. OTHERWISE, IT'D END WHEN YOU DIE. But it goes on, buddy, and it will long after you're six feet under. We're not on Earth solely to fulfill our individual needs; otherwise, coexisting wouldn't be necessary.
That's just my rant for the morning. Man, John Mayer, you kinda lost my respect, unless I'm misinterpreting the song.
Anyway, have a good day people and think on this.
Tuesday, July 21, 2009
Don't Doubt Me
I've been beaten, scraped, thrown around. I've failed miserably and committed costly mistakes. I've triumphed and succeeded, been the one who did the beatings. I have been on my knees more than I've been held up on a giant's shoulders. I have cried and frowned as equally as I have laughed and smiled. But don't dare doubt me. Life is trials and tribulations, but it isn't worth a damn thing if you don't fulfill your dreams despite all of the failure and filth.
When I say I can handle it, don't tell me I can't. And if you're right and I'm wrong, don't sweat it. I'll let it go.
When I say I want to go for it, don't tell me it's out of my reach. If you're right and I'm wrong, don't sweat it. I'll step back on my own accord.
If there was something that I could not do or would not be good for me, I wouldn't even try. So don't tell me what I can and cannot handle. And if I happen to be wrong, and you happen to be right, I'll deal with it. Move on with your life.
I would never refuse your advice. I will never disregard your opinion. I will, however, always stand by what I think is right, what I think would make my life worth living, and what I believe would do me good. I will always appreciate your care, love, support, faith, worries, criticism, and fears.
If I fail more than I succeed (and I know I will because that's life), and if the same mistake happens twice, put it all on me. There is nobody else who could be at fault for the things of which I try and fail. I'll take the blame, I'll own up, be responsible for my actions, and I'll still be living happily ever after. I'd hope you would do the same. After all, everything I do for myself and to myself affects me more than it could ever affect you.
When I say I can handle it, don't tell me I can't. And if you're right and I'm wrong, don't sweat it. I'll let it go.
When I say I want to go for it, don't tell me it's out of my reach. If you're right and I'm wrong, don't sweat it. I'll step back on my own accord.
If there was something that I could not do or would not be good for me, I wouldn't even try. So don't tell me what I can and cannot handle. And if I happen to be wrong, and you happen to be right, I'll deal with it. Move on with your life.
I would never refuse your advice. I will never disregard your opinion. I will, however, always stand by what I think is right, what I think would make my life worth living, and what I believe would do me good. I will always appreciate your care, love, support, faith, worries, criticism, and fears.
If I fail more than I succeed (and I know I will because that's life), and if the same mistake happens twice, put it all on me. There is nobody else who could be at fault for the things of which I try and fail. I'll take the blame, I'll own up, be responsible for my actions, and I'll still be living happily ever after. I'd hope you would do the same. After all, everything I do for myself and to myself affects me more than it could ever affect you.
Monday, July 20, 2009
The Road of Life
You might like speeding down the road with no regard to the law, your hair dancing in the wind.
You might like a nice joy ride with a mountainous scenic view, your digital camera ready to capture the moment.
You might like cruising through the streets with small-town charm, waving at pedestrians and children on bicycles.
Life is Main Street, and however fast, slow, or medium your pace is as you journey through, you've got to fit the scene to your liking.
The speed of your life is in your control; the length of the road, with all its smooth and bumpy turns, has already been paved for you. Life as a road is an analogy often used because, well, it works and it's on point.
If you compare life to a road, picture the speed bumps as minor setbacks or upsets such as accidentally missing a bill payment or losing out on a promotion. Like a speed bump, you have to maneuver your way through -- not around -- these obstacles. They cannot be ignored. But hey, speed bumps are minor and eventually you're over them.
A fender bender is like finding out your teenage daughter is pregnant or that you are about to lose your house. Your car is bent out of shape for the time being, but with attention and care, it revs back up. It's not life-threatening, it might make your head ache a little, but after all is said, done, and paid, you learn to smile again and move on.
A car crash is like discovering a loved one has cancer or you've become handicapped and bound to a wheelchair for life. It's devestating but you lived through the crash. As a result, you have to make small changes and learn how to deal with your new lifestyle, just as your cancer-stricken friend has to. You survived the crash, now it's time to figure out how to recover. You can't change what's happened.
Life is a not a smooth road; nobody promised it would be. As I said before, the length of the road is not in your hands, it has already been paved. Even with its speed bumps, fender benders, and crashes, you're alive and you have to take it one day at a time.
No matter what happens in your life, you've got to realize you can survive it all. Setbacks are just that...things that end up slowing down your speed a little. Your life isn't over, and there's a reason it's not, so don't go ruining it by walking around feeling sorry for yourself. The night always ends and the dawn always breaks through.
You might like a nice joy ride with a mountainous scenic view, your digital camera ready to capture the moment.
You might like cruising through the streets with small-town charm, waving at pedestrians and children on bicycles.
Life is Main Street, and however fast, slow, or medium your pace is as you journey through, you've got to fit the scene to your liking.
The speed of your life is in your control; the length of the road, with all its smooth and bumpy turns, has already been paved for you. Life as a road is an analogy often used because, well, it works and it's on point.
If you compare life to a road, picture the speed bumps as minor setbacks or upsets such as accidentally missing a bill payment or losing out on a promotion. Like a speed bump, you have to maneuver your way through -- not around -- these obstacles. They cannot be ignored. But hey, speed bumps are minor and eventually you're over them.
A fender bender is like finding out your teenage daughter is pregnant or that you are about to lose your house. Your car is bent out of shape for the time being, but with attention and care, it revs back up. It's not life-threatening, it might make your head ache a little, but after all is said, done, and paid, you learn to smile again and move on.
A car crash is like discovering a loved one has cancer or you've become handicapped and bound to a wheelchair for life. It's devestating but you lived through the crash. As a result, you have to make small changes and learn how to deal with your new lifestyle, just as your cancer-stricken friend has to. You survived the crash, now it's time to figure out how to recover. You can't change what's happened.
Life is a not a smooth road; nobody promised it would be. As I said before, the length of the road is not in your hands, it has already been paved. Even with its speed bumps, fender benders, and crashes, you're alive and you have to take it one day at a time.
No matter what happens in your life, you've got to realize you can survive it all. Setbacks are just that...things that end up slowing down your speed a little. Your life isn't over, and there's a reason it's not, so don't go ruining it by walking around feeling sorry for yourself. The night always ends and the dawn always breaks through.
Friday, July 3, 2009
mindXposed Quote of the Week
"To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment." - Ralph Waldo Emerson
We all want to keep our images straight, hoping that people understand us and know who we truly are. However, sometimes the people we care about give us advice, or see us differently than how we see ourselves, and that's a conflict.
We metaphorically stunt our growth when we take into consideration what people think of us and make decisions based on how they feel rather than on how we feel. For instance, say you grew up playing a sport, and you're really into it. However, Mom and Dad think you'll be better off playing a different sport. You grow up not knowing just how great you could have been in the sport you love more than anything because you gave it up to do something else that did not suit you in order to keep them happy. Or you're not the drinking type, but you go to a party where everyone is liquored up. You don't want to be an outcast, so despite yourself, you get down with the party.
I could go on with examples, but I don't feel like it and you get the idea, I'm sure. There are millions I could go over, big and small. It ain't easy living up to your own expectations when the people you care about most have their own expectations of you, and they let it be known loud and clear that they don't like what you're doing, or they think you can do something they believe is better for you, even though you're content and you're not hurting anybody or yourself. Even the strongest people falter in order to make others happy, sacrificing what they want in order to keep their reputations right, or to keep up an "appearance" that they want others to see them as.
In this world, Emerson is straight up correct, being true to yourself takes work and is a serious accomplishment.
We all want to keep our images straight, hoping that people understand us and know who we truly are. However, sometimes the people we care about give us advice, or see us differently than how we see ourselves, and that's a conflict.
We metaphorically stunt our growth when we take into consideration what people think of us and make decisions based on how they feel rather than on how we feel. For instance, say you grew up playing a sport, and you're really into it. However, Mom and Dad think you'll be better off playing a different sport. You grow up not knowing just how great you could have been in the sport you love more than anything because you gave it up to do something else that did not suit you in order to keep them happy. Or you're not the drinking type, but you go to a party where everyone is liquored up. You don't want to be an outcast, so despite yourself, you get down with the party.
I could go on with examples, but I don't feel like it and you get the idea, I'm sure. There are millions I could go over, big and small. It ain't easy living up to your own expectations when the people you care about most have their own expectations of you, and they let it be known loud and clear that they don't like what you're doing, or they think you can do something they believe is better for you, even though you're content and you're not hurting anybody or yourself. Even the strongest people falter in order to make others happy, sacrificing what they want in order to keep their reputations right, or to keep up an "appearance" that they want others to see them as.
In this world, Emerson is straight up correct, being true to yourself takes work and is a serious accomplishment.
Mistakes Can Be Blessings
We all stumble. We all swear up and down that we will not screw up.
But sometimes sh** happens, and it happens for a reason. Maybe what we view as a mistake is actually not a mistake...it's something God divinely set into our lives. Mistakes can be blessings. Like, for instance, you get into a car accident because you made the mistake of not checking all mirrors before changing lanes. But that mistake ends up being a blessing in disguise because now you've learned to be more careful. Or maybe you've made the mistake of telling your friend something that's been bothering you, but you didn't want to tell her. You thought it'd hurt her feelings, but...blessing in disguise. Your slip of the tongue put your friend in check, and now she's corrected her fault.
Don't look at mistakes as errors that you wish did not happen. God puts into place everything in our lives for a reason...mistakes and all. If God put you to it, He can get you through it. Have faith in yourself like He does.
But sometimes sh** happens, and it happens for a reason. Maybe what we view as a mistake is actually not a mistake...it's something God divinely set into our lives. Mistakes can be blessings. Like, for instance, you get into a car accident because you made the mistake of not checking all mirrors before changing lanes. But that mistake ends up being a blessing in disguise because now you've learned to be more careful. Or maybe you've made the mistake of telling your friend something that's been bothering you, but you didn't want to tell her. You thought it'd hurt her feelings, but...blessing in disguise. Your slip of the tongue put your friend in check, and now she's corrected her fault.
Don't look at mistakes as errors that you wish did not happen. God puts into place everything in our lives for a reason...mistakes and all. If God put you to it, He can get you through it. Have faith in yourself like He does.
Monday, June 22, 2009
So, What Do You Want to be When You Grow Up?
This question has plagued me since I was a child, probably around four years old. Here's a list of a few things I've thought about being since then (some more or less realistic than others...I'm sure you could figure out which is which!):
- Movie Director
- Novelist
- Fashion Designer
- Teacher
- Restaurant Owner
- Night Club Owner
- Astronaut
- Pro Basketball Player
- Ballerina
- Physical Therapist
- Obstetrician
- Archaeologist
- Psychologist
- Flight Attendant
- Photographer
- Newspaper Columnist
- Magazine Editor
- Pediatrician
The list is pretty all over the place, like I am now. There are a billion and one things I want to do, and I want more than one career path in my life because, to me, life is too short to settle on one type of job. I graduated college in 2008, but witnessing other people graduate recently has made me reflect on my own education and my future.
I loved being creative with the question, "What do you want to be when you grow up?" I dreamed big when I was younger, just as I do now. The only difference? I'm GROWN. So, now the question is, "What are you doing?" And I wish I could be as creative as I was when I was younger, able to just choose an answer out of thin air.
I am not saying I wasted my time in college. I am not saying I'm wasting my time now. I heard the warnings and the advice: have a game plan; if don't know what you want to do, you won't get anywhere. I thought I was following those words; I thought I knew what I wanted. I just don't know anymore.
I am not one to give up, and I am not one to be pessimistic. I just have a change of heart. It's wanting too much and not settling on just one thing for the time being. It's having commitment issues. I stayed with my Comm degree, but fluctuated on my second degree and my two minors until I settled with Comm and a Sociology minor. I spread myself too thin. I saw so many options, and I guess I became overwhelmed. I thought I wanted to do PR with a nonprofit organization. That is still my main focus. But there aren't too many opportunities out there. I know what I want, but yet I'm still confused? Maybe it's self-doubt, maybe it's the reality of our economy sinking in, or maybe I am always looking beyond, looking at what else is out there that I don't want to miss out on.
I am writing this because I know so many people who've just graduated or who've been out of college for like a year or two now. A lot of us are feeling this same way. Job searching is like a job in itself. Finding our place in society, making a name for ourselves, attempting to be real world adults...it looked so easy and effortless 20 years ago. Now we have people who are like me, going back to school to chase yet another dream, or to substitute the one they thought would get them to where they want to be. We've got people working jobs that they really hate. It sucks having to do something that only makes us feel worse, rather than being in a position in which we feel passionate and happy.
In time, things will always fall into place the way we want them to. We have to keep our heads up. We have to keep that determination, that fire, that spirit. We have to be tireless in our efforts. Even the most successful people tried and failed countless times, even though it seems like everything comes easy to them...
"The great Henry Aaron hit a home run 755 times in his career, but failed to do so almost 12,000 times." - John Szarkowski
Friday, April 24, 2009
mindXposed Quote of the Week
"If you start to think the problem is 'out there,' stop yourself. That thought is the problem." - Stephen R. Covey in The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People
I haven't read too many self-improvement books, but The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People is my favorite so far, and this quote is exactly why.
When you reflect on your life and start to wonder why people treat you some type of way, why bad things seem to happen to you more than other people, or why what you want is not coming to fruition...don't go pointing fingers and blaming your shortcomings and issues on others.
You are the controller of your life, second to God. Think of yourself as the co-pilot to the higher being you believe has your fate predetermined.
The problem lies in your thinking. The problem is not "out there" because nobody else can determine how your life plan is executed. If you want something done, you gotta do it yourself. It's okay to ask for assistance, but it's another thing to completely rely on others to get what you need. You need a Plan B, an alternative, anything to bounce you back in a moment of failure, or when someone you depended on dropped the ball because they might've put you second to their own needs.
Sometimes we blame the teacher when we fail a quiz. We're upset when we don't get the job we were hoping for. We beat ourselves up over things we can control.
Sometimes it isn't the problem itself that we have to analyze, it's our reaction and thinking that we have to examine. When we fail, when things aren't coming our way, maybe it's not because others didn't follow through when we expected them to. Maybe it's because rather than being hopeful, we have self doubt. And instead of facing our inner demons, we place blame on external factors. The only hands that could lift us up are our own. Others may reach down to help, but ultimately it is our choice to grab hold.
Take a good look at your thoughts when you wake up in the morning and when you go to bed at night. Are you thinking about what you can do to turn your life around, or to have a better chance of getting what you want or need in your life?
When you reach an obstacle, rather than pointing fingers, think about the best way you know to overcome the problem. You and God are in control of your life. So why complicate that by thinking everything and everyone out there isn't in line with your life plan and your goals?
Honestly, this was a little difficult to explain and I'm all over the place, but hopefully my point came across all right.
Happy Weekend!
I haven't read too many self-improvement books, but The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People is my favorite so far, and this quote is exactly why.
When you reflect on your life and start to wonder why people treat you some type of way, why bad things seem to happen to you more than other people, or why what you want is not coming to fruition...don't go pointing fingers and blaming your shortcomings and issues on others.
You are the controller of your life, second to God. Think of yourself as the co-pilot to the higher being you believe has your fate predetermined.
The problem lies in your thinking. The problem is not "out there" because nobody else can determine how your life plan is executed. If you want something done, you gotta do it yourself. It's okay to ask for assistance, but it's another thing to completely rely on others to get what you need. You need a Plan B, an alternative, anything to bounce you back in a moment of failure, or when someone you depended on dropped the ball because they might've put you second to their own needs.
Sometimes we blame the teacher when we fail a quiz. We're upset when we don't get the job we were hoping for. We beat ourselves up over things we can control.
Sometimes it isn't the problem itself that we have to analyze, it's our reaction and thinking that we have to examine. When we fail, when things aren't coming our way, maybe it's not because others didn't follow through when we expected them to. Maybe it's because rather than being hopeful, we have self doubt. And instead of facing our inner demons, we place blame on external factors. The only hands that could lift us up are our own. Others may reach down to help, but ultimately it is our choice to grab hold.
Take a good look at your thoughts when you wake up in the morning and when you go to bed at night. Are you thinking about what you can do to turn your life around, or to have a better chance of getting what you want or need in your life?
When you reach an obstacle, rather than pointing fingers, think about the best way you know to overcome the problem. You and God are in control of your life. So why complicate that by thinking everything and everyone out there isn't in line with your life plan and your goals?
Honestly, this was a little difficult to explain and I'm all over the place, but hopefully my point came across all right.
Happy Weekend!
Thursday, April 23, 2009
The 20s
The 20s are an awkward age. Girls and boys are between their youth and adulthood, depending on their maturity level, and I don't know about the rest of you early 20-somethings, but to call myself a woman sounds misleading. I'm reminded of that Britney Spears song I don't like but fits this post: "I'm Not a Girl, Not Yet a Woman." This is a time I am questioning where I fit in and how I'm supposed to act, and who and when I am supposed to listen or make my own decisions. Anyway, at this point in life, people are just graduating college, entering graduate school, finding a job, or getting married and having children (or vice versa, or just one or the other...let's be real here).
I find it pretty crazy how many people are getting married or are engaged while I still feel like a teenager who has to ask permission to leave my house (okay, I'm exaggerating just a little). But the whole point is, this is the time in one's life where adulthood begins to take shape, while at the same time, for some, they're still being supported and/or disciplined by their parents.
This is a tug-of-war decade of finding out how to take control of our lives without disrespecting our parents, without feeling like we don't care about their feelings, and all the while still getting by with their help from time to time. There has to come a time when we have to look out for ourselves and should be able to do what we want. Of course parents will be parents and worry about their children even when their grandkids reach their 20s. However, this is when we must learn responsibility, make mistakes and grow from them, and find out through experience what it is in our lives that we want and don't want. Sometimes I wonder if parents remember what it was like when they were growing up. What did they do wrong that their parents disapproved of? What kind of fights did they get into? How did they deal with the transition in their 20s? Do they go to bed at night thinking, Damn, I can't believe how much I sound like my mother?
While I live at home with Mom and Dad, others are taking care of their children or their spouses, planning their weddings or buying their first home. Others are also still living with their parents, and some are still in school trying to finish their undergraduate education or attending grad school. Our age group is comprised of husbands, wives, mothers, fathers, sons, daughters, students, and full-time workers. Just think about this hypothetical conversation four girls/women (I told you, it's weird for me!) have that is based on actual people who are between 22 and 25, who are in college or recently graduated within the past two years, and are clearly in different stages of their lives:
"I give up. There is no way I can afford a wedding. I think I should elope, or just do it at the courthouse. $20,000 is nowhere near enough for everything! I don't know how people do it. My fiance is too busy working to help me, even though he tries. $20,000! Is it even worth it? "
"I know how you feel, girl. My tuition is over $20,000 a year, and I'm not looking forward to paying back my loans. On top of that, I have to pay fees for my labs and books. I work like 30 hours at the bar to try to pay for school and other crap like my car. This all better be worth it!"
"Oh God, I don't even want to think about how I'm gonna get my daughter through school. By the time she turns 18, tuition is gonna be impossible to afford. I can't even buy what she wants now, and it's only like a $20 toy, but it's either feed her or let her play with a stupid talking doll. I had to yell at her for the first time because she wanted to go out and play, but it was raining."
"Yeah, I just got yelled at by my parents because I came home past 2 am the other night. And they mentioned how I didn't clean my room well enough. How do you handle it when your daughter wants to play outside but you don't want her to, or when she hasn't cleaned her room when you asked? Maybe you and my parents can get together and figure out the best way to deal with us kids."
Awkward?
I find it pretty crazy how many people are getting married or are engaged while I still feel like a teenager who has to ask permission to leave my house (okay, I'm exaggerating just a little). But the whole point is, this is the time in one's life where adulthood begins to take shape, while at the same time, for some, they're still being supported and/or disciplined by their parents.
This is a tug-of-war decade of finding out how to take control of our lives without disrespecting our parents, without feeling like we don't care about their feelings, and all the while still getting by with their help from time to time. There has to come a time when we have to look out for ourselves and should be able to do what we want. Of course parents will be parents and worry about their children even when their grandkids reach their 20s. However, this is when we must learn responsibility, make mistakes and grow from them, and find out through experience what it is in our lives that we want and don't want. Sometimes I wonder if parents remember what it was like when they were growing up. What did they do wrong that their parents disapproved of? What kind of fights did they get into? How did they deal with the transition in their 20s? Do they go to bed at night thinking, Damn, I can't believe how much I sound like my mother?
While I live at home with Mom and Dad, others are taking care of their children or their spouses, planning their weddings or buying their first home. Others are also still living with their parents, and some are still in school trying to finish their undergraduate education or attending grad school. Our age group is comprised of husbands, wives, mothers, fathers, sons, daughters, students, and full-time workers. Just think about this hypothetical conversation four girls/women (I told you, it's weird for me!) have that is based on actual people who are between 22 and 25, who are in college or recently graduated within the past two years, and are clearly in different stages of their lives:
"I give up. There is no way I can afford a wedding. I think I should elope, or just do it at the courthouse. $20,000 is nowhere near enough for everything! I don't know how people do it. My fiance is too busy working to help me, even though he tries. $20,000! Is it even worth it? "
"I know how you feel, girl. My tuition is over $20,000 a year, and I'm not looking forward to paying back my loans. On top of that, I have to pay fees for my labs and books. I work like 30 hours at the bar to try to pay for school and other crap like my car. This all better be worth it!"
"Oh God, I don't even want to think about how I'm gonna get my daughter through school. By the time she turns 18, tuition is gonna be impossible to afford. I can't even buy what she wants now, and it's only like a $20 toy, but it's either feed her or let her play with a stupid talking doll. I had to yell at her for the first time because she wanted to go out and play, but it was raining."
"Yeah, I just got yelled at by my parents because I came home past 2 am the other night. And they mentioned how I didn't clean my room well enough. How do you handle it when your daughter wants to play outside but you don't want her to, or when she hasn't cleaned her room when you asked? Maybe you and my parents can get together and figure out the best way to deal with us kids."
Awkward?
Wednesday, April 15, 2009
"April Showers Bring May Flowers"
It's been raining a whole lot these days here at the Jersey Shore, and I'm guessing in other areas as well. It's spring time, and the rain helps the natural world grow.
"April showers bring May flowers." This saying has many layers to it. Take it at face value. It rains a lot in April, but come May, the flowers bloom and the sun is shining. Spring is in full force.
I can't play basketball in the rain, and it's even more difficult to plan a tennis match in this weather. However, I know that it rains for a reason and I just have to patiently wait for the day to come where I can be able to do what I want.
To get to the beauty and serenity of spring, we have to put up with the rain. In life, to reach a higher ground, to get to a better and more positive place, we have to endure trials and tribulations. We have to fight, argue, bleed, sweat, work. Nothing valuable comes easily. Life lessons are not found on a chalkboard. They are found when you make the mistake, when you're on the ground with your knees scraped and your head pounding with pain. They are found when you witness others falling. They are found when the wounds heal and you get up to face another day with the hope of a better tomorow. Lessons aren't learned unless you think about what you've been through and realize why it happened and how it can benefit you. You can fall time and time again, but if you don't learn from the first few times...don't question why you keep on fallng. That's the reason right there. You didn't learn. You knew you made a mistake but haven't done anything to prevent it from happening again.
They say that you won't know true happiness without experiencing sadness, that you don't know what it's like to have a rich life unless you've experienced being poor (metaphorically speaking). There's a reason why there is an opposite to everything in life.
When it rains, just remember that the rain is there to help something better grow. If it's in your control, it doesn't have to rain as often as you think. If it's out of your control, think about why it's raining and what you can learn from it.
"April showers bring May flowers." This saying has many layers to it. Take it at face value. It rains a lot in April, but come May, the flowers bloom and the sun is shining. Spring is in full force.
I can't play basketball in the rain, and it's even more difficult to plan a tennis match in this weather. However, I know that it rains for a reason and I just have to patiently wait for the day to come where I can be able to do what I want.
To get to the beauty and serenity of spring, we have to put up with the rain. In life, to reach a higher ground, to get to a better and more positive place, we have to endure trials and tribulations. We have to fight, argue, bleed, sweat, work. Nothing valuable comes easily. Life lessons are not found on a chalkboard. They are found when you make the mistake, when you're on the ground with your knees scraped and your head pounding with pain. They are found when you witness others falling. They are found when the wounds heal and you get up to face another day with the hope of a better tomorow. Lessons aren't learned unless you think about what you've been through and realize why it happened and how it can benefit you. You can fall time and time again, but if you don't learn from the first few times...don't question why you keep on fallng. That's the reason right there. You didn't learn. You knew you made a mistake but haven't done anything to prevent it from happening again.
They say that you won't know true happiness without experiencing sadness, that you don't know what it's like to have a rich life unless you've experienced being poor (metaphorically speaking). There's a reason why there is an opposite to everything in life.
When it rains, just remember that the rain is there to help something better grow. If it's in your control, it doesn't have to rain as often as you think. If it's out of your control, think about why it's raining and what you can learn from it.
Friday, April 3, 2009
mindXposed Quote of the Week
"Develop a negative into a positive picture." - Lauryn Hill ("Everything is Everything")
I have faithfully been listening to The Miseducation of Lauryn Hill since its release in 1998. Eleven years later, I still have it bumping in my car. I absolutely love the beat of "Every Ghetto, Every City," and since I'm a Jersey girl, I am very familiar with the streets and cities she mentions on that track. "Nothing Even Matters" with D'Angelo melts through the speakers. Her emotions pull you in on "To Zion." This album is by far probably my most favorite.
Anyway, back to the quote. Ever since I first listened to this track, I have lived by the words, "Develop a negative into a positive picture." That is why I have been so resilient, despite everything that life has thrown at me. I have been through hell and back numerous times, and yet, I have not been depressed ever. I immediately take a negative situation, find the lesson in it, grow up and move on. It is amazing how quickly I just move on. Metaphorically speaking, I'd be beaten up and boggled down by life, but no one around me would ever know, because the next day, you'd find me on the tennis courts trying to win one for them team or in a Student Government meeting trying to lead my peers, without one teammate or SGA officer knowing how upside down and shaken my life just was less than 24 hours before.
Other people who have gone through similar circumstances have not bounced back nearly as fast as I have from the shit (forgive my language) I have gone through. I am blessed and grateful to be such a positive person who lets nothing, and I do mean nothing, stop me from enjoying life and going after my dreams. With what I've gone through, some people might try to hide from the spotlight and live anonymously in fear. Some people might lose trust in everyone they meet, and even people they have known for quite some time.
By developing every negative into a positive, I do not live in fear and I learn so much about myself and about life. Because of what I have been through, I am more cautious about certain things and letting people into my life, but I do not, nor will I ever, limit myself just because of my past. Also, I have learned how to forgive, how to be happy despite the facts, and I am not stressed out at all from anything that happens.
Continuously, I say that everyone deals with problems differently. However, I am really glad that I know how to move on and not dwell on the past. Doing so just keeps your life on a standstill, and that is no way to be living! It honestly aggravates me to hear people complain about their lives. Not everyone's life is golden, and not everyone knows how to deal with that. However, every situation can be altered if you try. It takes a lot of effort, a lot of discipline, and a lot of strength to make a change and to learn from the past. Easier said than done, but it must be done. And once it is done, baby, you are on track to the happiness you deserve! It'll take time, but only the greatest things are accomplished with patience and diligence.
I have faithfully been listening to The Miseducation of Lauryn Hill since its release in 1998. Eleven years later, I still have it bumping in my car. I absolutely love the beat of "Every Ghetto, Every City," and since I'm a Jersey girl, I am very familiar with the streets and cities she mentions on that track. "Nothing Even Matters" with D'Angelo melts through the speakers. Her emotions pull you in on "To Zion." This album is by far probably my most favorite.
Anyway, back to the quote. Ever since I first listened to this track, I have lived by the words, "Develop a negative into a positive picture." That is why I have been so resilient, despite everything that life has thrown at me. I have been through hell and back numerous times, and yet, I have not been depressed ever. I immediately take a negative situation, find the lesson in it, grow up and move on. It is amazing how quickly I just move on. Metaphorically speaking, I'd be beaten up and boggled down by life, but no one around me would ever know, because the next day, you'd find me on the tennis courts trying to win one for them team or in a Student Government meeting trying to lead my peers, without one teammate or SGA officer knowing how upside down and shaken my life just was less than 24 hours before.
Other people who have gone through similar circumstances have not bounced back nearly as fast as I have from the shit (forgive my language) I have gone through. I am blessed and grateful to be such a positive person who lets nothing, and I do mean nothing, stop me from enjoying life and going after my dreams. With what I've gone through, some people might try to hide from the spotlight and live anonymously in fear. Some people might lose trust in everyone they meet, and even people they have known for quite some time.
By developing every negative into a positive, I do not live in fear and I learn so much about myself and about life. Because of what I have been through, I am more cautious about certain things and letting people into my life, but I do not, nor will I ever, limit myself just because of my past. Also, I have learned how to forgive, how to be happy despite the facts, and I am not stressed out at all from anything that happens.
Continuously, I say that everyone deals with problems differently. However, I am really glad that I know how to move on and not dwell on the past. Doing so just keeps your life on a standstill, and that is no way to be living! It honestly aggravates me to hear people complain about their lives. Not everyone's life is golden, and not everyone knows how to deal with that. However, every situation can be altered if you try. It takes a lot of effort, a lot of discipline, and a lot of strength to make a change and to learn from the past. Easier said than done, but it must be done. And once it is done, baby, you are on track to the happiness you deserve! It'll take time, but only the greatest things are accomplished with patience and diligence.
Wednesday, March 18, 2009
Your Past...
...is only an indication of your future. It only repeats itself if you don't correct yourself. To progress ourselves, we must check and re-edit ourselves.
...is a series of lessons, and I don't know about you, but I tend to pick and choose which lessons to learn from. I am beginning to realize that I must swallow my pride, admit to my wrongs, and only then can I really mature and grow. To be changed, you must make a change. As simple and logical as that is, it falls under the list of things that are "easier said than done."
...consists of people who make an impact on who you are, consciously or not. I truly believe that every single person I have laid my eyes on, or had some correspondence with, has had an effect on me and who I am. We all judge books by their covers, hence first impressions. Even if we speak to someone, that is most likely still their cover because it takes time to truly know a person, and people don't let you in on who they are until they completely trust you, at least that is how I am at times (sorry, I went off on a tangent). Whenever I see someone, I immediately have an opinion about that person, or I compare myself to that person. I do this all the time without even noticing. For instance, if I saw a girl walking down the street with a really toned body and a nice outfit on, I think about my own body and how I really have to get myself into better shape in order to pull of whatever she is wearing. Human interaction is so important because it helps us learn more about ourselves, not just each other. I believe every single person who I crossed paths with in my life, no matter how briefly, has helped me define who I am.
...is filled with triumphs, failures, happiness, and pain. Depending on who you are, you either thrive from your triumphs and happiness or dwell on your failures and pain. If you thrive from your triumphs and happiness, you will succeed and make the most out of life. However, if you suppress your failures and pain in order to be happy, that could hurt you in the long run. Life is a crazy balance of these opposites, and honey, the sun don't shine forever. It is important to realize life is not all smiles and cupcakes because there are down moments, and if you always expect happiness, when that pain comes at you... it could knock you down because you didn't see it coming. On the other end, if you dwell on your failures and pain, you will only feel like a failure and be filled with pain. Do not overshadow your triumphs and happiness with your pessimism. Life is a crazy balance of these opposites, and honey, darkness falls but the night always ends. It is important to realize that when seemingly too good to be true circumstances come your way, you shouldn't be wondering what's going to come next that could ruin the moment.
...is a series of lessons, and I don't know about you, but I tend to pick and choose which lessons to learn from. I am beginning to realize that I must swallow my pride, admit to my wrongs, and only then can I really mature and grow. To be changed, you must make a change. As simple and logical as that is, it falls under the list of things that are "easier said than done."
...consists of people who make an impact on who you are, consciously or not. I truly believe that every single person I have laid my eyes on, or had some correspondence with, has had an effect on me and who I am. We all judge books by their covers, hence first impressions. Even if we speak to someone, that is most likely still their cover because it takes time to truly know a person, and people don't let you in on who they are until they completely trust you, at least that is how I am at times (sorry, I went off on a tangent). Whenever I see someone, I immediately have an opinion about that person, or I compare myself to that person. I do this all the time without even noticing. For instance, if I saw a girl walking down the street with a really toned body and a nice outfit on, I think about my own body and how I really have to get myself into better shape in order to pull of whatever she is wearing. Human interaction is so important because it helps us learn more about ourselves, not just each other. I believe every single person who I crossed paths with in my life, no matter how briefly, has helped me define who I am.
...is filled with triumphs, failures, happiness, and pain. Depending on who you are, you either thrive from your triumphs and happiness or dwell on your failures and pain. If you thrive from your triumphs and happiness, you will succeed and make the most out of life. However, if you suppress your failures and pain in order to be happy, that could hurt you in the long run. Life is a crazy balance of these opposites, and honey, the sun don't shine forever. It is important to realize life is not all smiles and cupcakes because there are down moments, and if you always expect happiness, when that pain comes at you... it could knock you down because you didn't see it coming. On the other end, if you dwell on your failures and pain, you will only feel like a failure and be filled with pain. Do not overshadow your triumphs and happiness with your pessimism. Life is a crazy balance of these opposites, and honey, darkness falls but the night always ends. It is important to realize that when seemingly too good to be true circumstances come your way, you shouldn't be wondering what's going to come next that could ruin the moment.
Friday, February 13, 2009
"Finally"
I've been with me my whole life,
But I swore others knew me better than I knew myself.
I stared into the mirror. "Why are you this way?"
It was hard to see into those eyes, so I closed them and cried.
I've been with me my whole life,
But I swore I could not take my own advice.
I stared into the mirror. "You must end this."
It was a struggle to let go of things I thought I couldn't live without, so I held on.
I've been with me my whole life,
But I swore I needed to change my ways.
I stared into the mirror. "Who are you?"
It was frightening to face the reflection of a distant stranger, so I turned away.
I've been with me my whole life,
But I swore I had everything in control.
I stared into the mirror. "Girl, you got it all wrong."
It was the intense glare back that made me ashamed, so I confronted it.
I've been with me my whole life,
But I swore I've never felt so alone.
I stared into the mirror. "You can do this."
It was inspiring to look at this image, and I was made stronger.
I've been with me my whole life,
And I swear I'm learning more about me every day.
I stare into the mirror. "There I am, through the fog."
It is refreshing to find the genuine smile of someone familiar.
I've been with me my whole life,
But I have had others along for the ride.
Fighting to be the half of empty wholes,
I'm discovering who I am on my own,
Slowly...surely...
Finally.
But I swore others knew me better than I knew myself.
I stared into the mirror. "Why are you this way?"
It was hard to see into those eyes, so I closed them and cried.
I've been with me my whole life,
But I swore I could not take my own advice.
I stared into the mirror. "You must end this."
It was a struggle to let go of things I thought I couldn't live without, so I held on.
I've been with me my whole life,
But I swore I needed to change my ways.
I stared into the mirror. "Who are you?"
It was frightening to face the reflection of a distant stranger, so I turned away.
I've been with me my whole life,
But I swore I had everything in control.
I stared into the mirror. "Girl, you got it all wrong."
It was the intense glare back that made me ashamed, so I confronted it.
I've been with me my whole life,
But I swore I've never felt so alone.
I stared into the mirror. "You can do this."
It was inspiring to look at this image, and I was made stronger.
I've been with me my whole life,
And I swear I'm learning more about me every day.
I stare into the mirror. "There I am, through the fog."
It is refreshing to find the genuine smile of someone familiar.
I've been with me my whole life,
But I have had others along for the ride.
Fighting to be the half of empty wholes,
I'm discovering who I am on my own,
Slowly...surely...
Finally.
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