Been a Long Time...

It's fitting to talk about the speed of life, considering I've been putting off writing a new post every day thinking it wouldn't be over a month until I would again. But it has been over a month. I started slacking on this around August, I think, and got caught up in my life. Things changed. I got a full time job. I'm moving into an apartment. I got engaged (had to find a way to throw this in the post somehow!). I think people tend to put things off thinking that they'll get whatever it is they gotta do done within a certain time period without a problem. Then time just slips away. I don't know if I would call this procrastinating necessarily, just prioritizing, I guess. But I've realized if this is prioritizing, then I'm pretty screwed up about what I think is most important to do in life.

We tend to lose sight of the big picture when we're caught up in the pieces rather than the whole of the puzzle. Yeah, I had to highlight that because sometimes I get kinda conceited and proud of the stuff my brain puts together. We all wanna show off sometimes. Anyway, aside from that, it is a good point. It's been said that you cannot be motivated to do anything if you don't know where you're going. It's like driving and only looking at the car in front of you. You'll get side swiped when you don't notice the idiot next to you trying to switch lanes who also doesn't see you because he or she is too busy focusing on one thing rather than the road as a whole.

The puzzle pieces of my life include but are not limited to: education, bills, work, socializing, working out, buying stuff. The whole of the puzzle is: making sure I'm healthy, successful, and that everyone in my life, including me, is happy. When we start to get bored commuting to and from work, that's us letting the whole puzzle picture slip from our minds. When we choose parties over going to bed early enough to wake up to get errands done, that's us saying, "F*** you, puzzle picture. I want my fun," when in reality, depending on the importance of the errands, we could be screwing ourselves over, and inevitably, the fun wouldn't have been worth it after all. It's short-term happiness overriding long-term happiness. We forget our purpose when we trivialize our everyday routine and start to complain about it or put stupid little things ahead of what actually matters. I'm not saying don't have your fun. I'm saying get your life in order so that you can have your fun and fulfill your overall reason for living. There are countless stories of workaholics who put their families to the side, practically kick them to the curb, in order to earn a promotion or complete a task well before deadline. Nice job, you've won but your family life sucks. You're not married to your boss (well, you might be, but you see what I'm getting at). Who are you more faithful to, a higher-up you're sucking up to for like 10 cents more on a paycheck, or the man or woman who is at home waiting to finally see you at the end of a long day?

Not trying to sound like a self-help book, but put into perspective how your puzzle pieces affect the whole picture. How do the little things add up to one whole? Are the little pieces worth it? Are you able to have every piece, no matter how big or small, fit into your life? Do you consider yourself happy overall?

If you could look at yourself naked in a mirror while eating and not want to cry, then you're happy with your body. That's kinda like life. If you could strip away the parties, alcohol, drugs, anything materialistic like a flat screen or a closet full of clothes, anything God would consider "worldly" possessions, and not feel alone or unimportant, then you're truly happy with yourself.

Step back and think about what you do daily. Think about the importance of everything you do. Don't forget that even though bumper to bumper traffic is hell in the morning, the road you're on is leading you to where you need to be for a reason. Be able to smile about it.

A Letter

My Dearly Beloved Yet Hated,

Pay attention and read carefully...

I hate how you make me so weary and tired, bulldozing me with some pretty damn difficult situations. I try to do the right thing, yet it doesn't seem to please or appease you. You just keep coming at me hard.

I hate the way you make me feel inadequate at times, questioning my confidence, my sincerity, and my motives. I do my best to give my all, but more often than not I've been a failure to you.

Just when I think everything is running smoothly and finally going my way, all of a sudden you throw something at me that ruins my plans or sets me back, and I hate that about you. It's almost like you don't think I deserve to be successful or have things go right.

I hate how you make it hard for me to do what I want. Why can't I just have my fun? Why must it be all work and no play most days? My plate could only be so full, and once in a while, I need some relaxation, and I'd appreciate some alone time.

As much as I hate what you do, I love the little surprises you give me that do nothing but make me smile. Even though you hurt me at times, you make up for it by doing things that make me feel blessed and truly appreciative of you.

I love how you make me feel good about myself. You make me feel so accomplished and able to tackle anything that comes my way. You've given me all that I have ever needed to go after what I want and overcome the bad things that find their way to me once in a while.

I love all of the people I have met through you, and all of the experiences that could not have been possible without you. I have had so much fun so far, and you've given me unforgettable memories. I'm looking forward to more.

So Life, read this carefully. I am so grateful to have you, the entire package, good and bad. Because if it were not for the bad, I wouldn't know how good I've got it. Life, for as long as you're around, this is going to be a love/hate battle. But I am the one who is really in control of this fight, and you will not defeat me.

I hate what you have done to me, but I love the person you are helping me become. Thank you for everything.

Sincerely,
Jamie

The Road of Life

You might like speeding down the road with no regard to the law, your hair dancing in the wind.
You might like a nice joy ride with a mountainous scenic view, your digital camera ready to capture the moment.
You might like cruising through the streets with small-town charm, waving at pedestrians and children on bicycles.

Life is Main Street, and however fast, slow, or medium your pace is as you journey through, you've got to fit the scene to your liking.

The speed of your life is in your control; the length of the road, with all its smooth and bumpy turns, has already been paved for you. Life as a road is an analogy often used because, well, it works and it's on point.

If you compare life to a road, picture the speed bumps as minor setbacks or upsets such as accidentally missing a bill payment or losing out on a promotion. Like a speed bump, you have to maneuver your way through -- not around -- these obstacles. They cannot be ignored. But hey, speed bumps are minor and eventually you're over them.

A fender bender is like finding out your teenage daughter is pregnant or that you are about to lose your house. Your car is bent out of shape for the time being, but with attention and care, it revs back up. It's not life-threatening, it might make your head ache a little, but after all is said, done, and paid, you learn to smile again and move on.

A car crash is like discovering a loved one has cancer or you've become handicapped and bound to a wheelchair for life. It's devestating but you lived through the crash. As a result, you have to make small changes and learn how to deal with your new lifestyle, just as your cancer-stricken friend has to. You survived the crash, now it's time to figure out how to recover. You can't change what's happened.

Life is a not a smooth road; nobody promised it would be. As I said before, the length of the road is not in your hands, it has already been paved. Even with its speed bumps, fender benders, and crashes, you're alive and you have to take it one day at a time.

No matter what happens in your life, you've got to realize you can survive it all. Setbacks are just that...things that end up slowing down your speed a little. Your life isn't over, and there's a reason it's not, so don't go ruining it by walking around feeling sorry for yourself. The night always ends and the dawn always breaks through.

So, What Do You Want to be When You Grow Up?

This question has plagued me since I was a child, probably around four years old. Here's a list of a few things I've thought about being since then (some more or less realistic than others...I'm sure you could figure out which is which!):

• Movie Director
• Novelist
• Fashion Designer
• Teacher
• Restaurant Owner
• Night Club Owner
• Astronaut
• Pro Basketball Player
• Ballerina
• Physical Therapist
• Obstetrician
• Archaeologist
• Psychologist
• Flight Attendant
• Photographer
• Newspaper Columnist
• Magazine Editor
• Pediatrician

The list is pretty all over the place, like I am now. There are a billion and one things I want to do, and I want more than one career path in my life because, to me, life is too short to settle on one type of job. I graduated college in 2008, but witnessing other people graduate recently has made me reflect on my own education and my future.

I loved being creative with the question, "What do you want to be when you grow up?" I dreamed big when I was younger, just as I do now. The only difference? I'm GROWN. So, now the question is, "What are you doing?" And I wish I could be as creative as I was when I was younger, able to just choose an answer out of thin air.

I am not saying I wasted my time in college. I am not saying I'm wasting my time now. I heard the warnings and the advice: have a game plan; if don't know what you want to do, you won't get anywhere. I thought I was following those words; I thought I knew what I wanted. I just don't know anymore.

I am not one to give up, and I am not one to be pessimistic. I just have a change of heart. It's wanting too much and not settling on just one thing for the time being. It's having commitment issues. I stayed with my Comm degree, but fluctuated on my second degree and my two minors until I settled with Comm and a Sociology minor. I spread myself too thin. I saw so many options, and I guess I became overwhelmed. I thought I wanted to do PR with a nonprofit organization. That is still my main focus. But there aren't too many opportunities out there. I know what I want, but yet I'm still confused? Maybe it's self-doubt, maybe it's the reality of our economy sinking in, or maybe I am always looking beyond, looking at what else is out there that I don't want to miss out on.

I am writing this because I know so many people who've just graduated or who've been out of college for like a year or two now. A lot of us are feeling this same way. Job searching is like a job in itself. Finding our place in society, making a name for ourselves, attempting to be real world adults...it looked so easy and effortless 20 years ago. Now we have people who are like me, going back to school to chase yet another dream, or to substitute the one they thought would get them to where they want to be. We've got people working jobs that they really hate. It sucks having to do something that only makes us feel worse, rather than being in a position in which we feel passionate and happy.

In time, things will always fall into place the way we want them to. We have to keep our heads up. We have to keep that determination, that fire, that spirit. We have to be tireless in our efforts. Even the most successful people tried and failed countless times, even though it seems like everything comes easy to them...

"The great Henry Aaron hit a home run 755 times in his career, but failed to do so almost 12,000 times." - John Szarkowski

"Would You Like Fries With That?"

It irritates me when I hear people making fun of others who are working at fast food restaurants, or as janitors, when they themselves don't have work. They're waving their rolled up college degrees tied with pretty ribbon like wands hoping to make magic happen. A college degree doesn't mean anything unless you make it worth something. Congratulations! You've completed 128 credits. Now what? College does not guarantee success, even though it is a valuable key to it.

By the way, I am a proud college graduate, but I have humbled myself in this world of layoffs and hiring freezes. Graduating does not necessarily automatically make you a baller. Yes, it gives you an upper hand. Hell yeah it's an advantage. But baller status? Think again. You still gotta climb that ladder before you hit the three letters C, E, and O. You may find yourself competing with someone who has a lesser degree. You might even be competing with someone without a degree who jumped onto that corporate ladder at the lowest of the lowest of the rungs and now gained more experience than you did while your were studying for final exams year in and year out.

You'll also find people who did not spend thousands of dollars on a college degree who are banking crazy amounts of money. Their secret? Their mind. And guess what? You've got one of those too. Really utilize the most powerful tool God placed in your body. It works wonders.

Life, as it is usually compared to, is a game of cards. Play your hand well, and like Sister Souljah points out in The Coldest Winter Ever, play that hand close to your chest. The hand you've been dealt is the choices you've been offered, and just as you calculate your next move in a game, you need to calculate precisely the next step in your life. Your education level does not mean anything unless you make moves. Like in poker, even if you have a winning hand, it means nothing if you don't take the risk and make those bets.

Long story short, don't pass up opportunities because you've got your eye on that high prize. Success comes in taking the small steps and learning from the bottom up in order to reach the top, not by leaping in bounds without any type of understanding. People respect those who have been around longer and worked their way up because they know more since they've been there and done that. They don't want some snotty college kid in a management position when he doesn't even know what it's like to hold a job of the "little people."

Am I making any sense?

With the world in the state that it's in, be glad you're being offered jobs. And if you're not being offered anything, you're just not trying hard enough. Point blank. That degree, no matter what it's in or what level it is at, is not going to work for you. You have to make it work.

This is my hard lesson learned, and I just thought I'd share it with you. I've been out of college a year and have yet to hold a job that requires a degree. Am I mad? No. "Change, it comes eventually," Lauryn Hill puts it. I am working at my life because that's the only thing we can do. The definition of work is energy, and to let up on that would make you weak. I may be physically weak, but I am mentally tough. I am not here to brag, and I am sure as hell not here to teach you all how to be tough because I am in no position to do any of that. You'll have to learn elsewhere how to be strong. You won't find answers in this blog.

But please don't disrespect the 40-year-old men and women asking customers if they'd like fries and a Coke to go along with their cheeseburgers. They're in the right business right now. That dollar menu is highly desirable at a time when people are pinching their pennies.