My Dearly Beloved Yet Hated,
Pay attention and read carefully...
I hate how you make me so weary and tired, bulldozing me with some pretty damn difficult situations. I try to do the right thing, yet it doesn't seem to please or appease you. You just keep coming at me hard.
I hate the way you make me feel inadequate at times, questioning my confidence, my sincerity, and my motives. I do my best to give my all, but more often than not I've been a failure to you.
Just when I think everything is running smoothly and finally going my way, all of a sudden you throw something at me that ruins my plans or sets me back, and I hate that about you. It's almost like you don't think I deserve to be successful or have things go right.
I hate how you make it hard for me to do what I want. Why can't I just have my fun? Why must it be all work and no play most days? My plate could only be so full, and once in a while, I need some relaxation, and I'd appreciate some alone time.
As much as I hate what you do, I love the little surprises you give me that do nothing but make me smile. Even though you hurt me at times, you make up for it by doing things that make me feel blessed and truly appreciative of you.
I love how you make me feel good about myself. You make me feel so accomplished and able to tackle anything that comes my way. You've given me all that I have ever needed to go after what I want and overcome the bad things that find their way to me once in a while.
I love all of the people I have met through you, and all of the experiences that could not have been possible without you. I have had so much fun so far, and you've given me unforgettable memories. I'm looking forward to more.
So Life, read this carefully. I am so grateful to have you, the entire package, good and bad. Because if it were not for the bad, I wouldn't know how good I've got it. Life, for as long as you're around, this is going to be a love/hate battle. But I am the one who is really in control of this fight, and you will not defeat me.
I hate what you have done to me, but I love the person you are helping me become. Thank you for everything.
Sincerely,
Jamie
Showing posts with label strength. Show all posts
Showing posts with label strength. Show all posts
Thursday, September 10, 2009
Tuesday, July 21, 2009
Don't Doubt Me
I've been beaten, scraped, thrown around. I've failed miserably and committed costly mistakes. I've triumphed and succeeded, been the one who did the beatings. I have been on my knees more than I've been held up on a giant's shoulders. I have cried and frowned as equally as I have laughed and smiled. But don't dare doubt me. Life is trials and tribulations, but it isn't worth a damn thing if you don't fulfill your dreams despite all of the failure and filth.
When I say I can handle it, don't tell me I can't. And if you're right and I'm wrong, don't sweat it. I'll let it go.
When I say I want to go for it, don't tell me it's out of my reach. If you're right and I'm wrong, don't sweat it. I'll step back on my own accord.
If there was something that I could not do or would not be good for me, I wouldn't even try. So don't tell me what I can and cannot handle. And if I happen to be wrong, and you happen to be right, I'll deal with it. Move on with your life.
I would never refuse your advice. I will never disregard your opinion. I will, however, always stand by what I think is right, what I think would make my life worth living, and what I believe would do me good. I will always appreciate your care, love, support, faith, worries, criticism, and fears.
If I fail more than I succeed (and I know I will because that's life), and if the same mistake happens twice, put it all on me. There is nobody else who could be at fault for the things of which I try and fail. I'll take the blame, I'll own up, be responsible for my actions, and I'll still be living happily ever after. I'd hope you would do the same. After all, everything I do for myself and to myself affects me more than it could ever affect you.
When I say I can handle it, don't tell me I can't. And if you're right and I'm wrong, don't sweat it. I'll let it go.
When I say I want to go for it, don't tell me it's out of my reach. If you're right and I'm wrong, don't sweat it. I'll step back on my own accord.
If there was something that I could not do or would not be good for me, I wouldn't even try. So don't tell me what I can and cannot handle. And if I happen to be wrong, and you happen to be right, I'll deal with it. Move on with your life.
I would never refuse your advice. I will never disregard your opinion. I will, however, always stand by what I think is right, what I think would make my life worth living, and what I believe would do me good. I will always appreciate your care, love, support, faith, worries, criticism, and fears.
If I fail more than I succeed (and I know I will because that's life), and if the same mistake happens twice, put it all on me. There is nobody else who could be at fault for the things of which I try and fail. I'll take the blame, I'll own up, be responsible for my actions, and I'll still be living happily ever after. I'd hope you would do the same. After all, everything I do for myself and to myself affects me more than it could ever affect you.
Friday, July 3, 2009
Mistakes Can Be Blessings
We all stumble. We all swear up and down that we will not screw up.
But sometimes sh** happens, and it happens for a reason. Maybe what we view as a mistake is actually not a mistake...it's something God divinely set into our lives. Mistakes can be blessings. Like, for instance, you get into a car accident because you made the mistake of not checking all mirrors before changing lanes. But that mistake ends up being a blessing in disguise because now you've learned to be more careful. Or maybe you've made the mistake of telling your friend something that's been bothering you, but you didn't want to tell her. You thought it'd hurt her feelings, but...blessing in disguise. Your slip of the tongue put your friend in check, and now she's corrected her fault.
Don't look at mistakes as errors that you wish did not happen. God puts into place everything in our lives for a reason...mistakes and all. If God put you to it, He can get you through it. Have faith in yourself like He does.
But sometimes sh** happens, and it happens for a reason. Maybe what we view as a mistake is actually not a mistake...it's something God divinely set into our lives. Mistakes can be blessings. Like, for instance, you get into a car accident because you made the mistake of not checking all mirrors before changing lanes. But that mistake ends up being a blessing in disguise because now you've learned to be more careful. Or maybe you've made the mistake of telling your friend something that's been bothering you, but you didn't want to tell her. You thought it'd hurt her feelings, but...blessing in disguise. Your slip of the tongue put your friend in check, and now she's corrected her fault.
Don't look at mistakes as errors that you wish did not happen. God puts into place everything in our lives for a reason...mistakes and all. If God put you to it, He can get you through it. Have faith in yourself like He does.
Wednesday, April 15, 2009
"April Showers Bring May Flowers"
It's been raining a whole lot these days here at the Jersey Shore, and I'm guessing in other areas as well. It's spring time, and the rain helps the natural world grow.
"April showers bring May flowers." This saying has many layers to it. Take it at face value. It rains a lot in April, but come May, the flowers bloom and the sun is shining. Spring is in full force.
I can't play basketball in the rain, and it's even more difficult to plan a tennis match in this weather. However, I know that it rains for a reason and I just have to patiently wait for the day to come where I can be able to do what I want.
To get to the beauty and serenity of spring, we have to put up with the rain. In life, to reach a higher ground, to get to a better and more positive place, we have to endure trials and tribulations. We have to fight, argue, bleed, sweat, work. Nothing valuable comes easily. Life lessons are not found on a chalkboard. They are found when you make the mistake, when you're on the ground with your knees scraped and your head pounding with pain. They are found when you witness others falling. They are found when the wounds heal and you get up to face another day with the hope of a better tomorow. Lessons aren't learned unless you think about what you've been through and realize why it happened and how it can benefit you. You can fall time and time again, but if you don't learn from the first few times...don't question why you keep on fallng. That's the reason right there. You didn't learn. You knew you made a mistake but haven't done anything to prevent it from happening again.
They say that you won't know true happiness without experiencing sadness, that you don't know what it's like to have a rich life unless you've experienced being poor (metaphorically speaking). There's a reason why there is an opposite to everything in life.
When it rains, just remember that the rain is there to help something better grow. If it's in your control, it doesn't have to rain as often as you think. If it's out of your control, think about why it's raining and what you can learn from it.
"April showers bring May flowers." This saying has many layers to it. Take it at face value. It rains a lot in April, but come May, the flowers bloom and the sun is shining. Spring is in full force.
I can't play basketball in the rain, and it's even more difficult to plan a tennis match in this weather. However, I know that it rains for a reason and I just have to patiently wait for the day to come where I can be able to do what I want.
To get to the beauty and serenity of spring, we have to put up with the rain. In life, to reach a higher ground, to get to a better and more positive place, we have to endure trials and tribulations. We have to fight, argue, bleed, sweat, work. Nothing valuable comes easily. Life lessons are not found on a chalkboard. They are found when you make the mistake, when you're on the ground with your knees scraped and your head pounding with pain. They are found when you witness others falling. They are found when the wounds heal and you get up to face another day with the hope of a better tomorow. Lessons aren't learned unless you think about what you've been through and realize why it happened and how it can benefit you. You can fall time and time again, but if you don't learn from the first few times...don't question why you keep on fallng. That's the reason right there. You didn't learn. You knew you made a mistake but haven't done anything to prevent it from happening again.
They say that you won't know true happiness without experiencing sadness, that you don't know what it's like to have a rich life unless you've experienced being poor (metaphorically speaking). There's a reason why there is an opposite to everything in life.
When it rains, just remember that the rain is there to help something better grow. If it's in your control, it doesn't have to rain as often as you think. If it's out of your control, think about why it's raining and what you can learn from it.
Friday, April 3, 2009
mindXposed Quote of the Week
"Develop a negative into a positive picture." - Lauryn Hill ("Everything is Everything")
I have faithfully been listening to The Miseducation of Lauryn Hill since its release in 1998. Eleven years later, I still have it bumping in my car. I absolutely love the beat of "Every Ghetto, Every City," and since I'm a Jersey girl, I am very familiar with the streets and cities she mentions on that track. "Nothing Even Matters" with D'Angelo melts through the speakers. Her emotions pull you in on "To Zion." This album is by far probably my most favorite.
Anyway, back to the quote. Ever since I first listened to this track, I have lived by the words, "Develop a negative into a positive picture." That is why I have been so resilient, despite everything that life has thrown at me. I have been through hell and back numerous times, and yet, I have not been depressed ever. I immediately take a negative situation, find the lesson in it, grow up and move on. It is amazing how quickly I just move on. Metaphorically speaking, I'd be beaten up and boggled down by life, but no one around me would ever know, because the next day, you'd find me on the tennis courts trying to win one for them team or in a Student Government meeting trying to lead my peers, without one teammate or SGA officer knowing how upside down and shaken my life just was less than 24 hours before.
Other people who have gone through similar circumstances have not bounced back nearly as fast as I have from the shit (forgive my language) I have gone through. I am blessed and grateful to be such a positive person who lets nothing, and I do mean nothing, stop me from enjoying life and going after my dreams. With what I've gone through, some people might try to hide from the spotlight and live anonymously in fear. Some people might lose trust in everyone they meet, and even people they have known for quite some time.
By developing every negative into a positive, I do not live in fear and I learn so much about myself and about life. Because of what I have been through, I am more cautious about certain things and letting people into my life, but I do not, nor will I ever, limit myself just because of my past. Also, I have learned how to forgive, how to be happy despite the facts, and I am not stressed out at all from anything that happens.
Continuously, I say that everyone deals with problems differently. However, I am really glad that I know how to move on and not dwell on the past. Doing so just keeps your life on a standstill, and that is no way to be living! It honestly aggravates me to hear people complain about their lives. Not everyone's life is golden, and not everyone knows how to deal with that. However, every situation can be altered if you try. It takes a lot of effort, a lot of discipline, and a lot of strength to make a change and to learn from the past. Easier said than done, but it must be done. And once it is done, baby, you are on track to the happiness you deserve! It'll take time, but only the greatest things are accomplished with patience and diligence.
I have faithfully been listening to The Miseducation of Lauryn Hill since its release in 1998. Eleven years later, I still have it bumping in my car. I absolutely love the beat of "Every Ghetto, Every City," and since I'm a Jersey girl, I am very familiar with the streets and cities she mentions on that track. "Nothing Even Matters" with D'Angelo melts through the speakers. Her emotions pull you in on "To Zion." This album is by far probably my most favorite.
Anyway, back to the quote. Ever since I first listened to this track, I have lived by the words, "Develop a negative into a positive picture." That is why I have been so resilient, despite everything that life has thrown at me. I have been through hell and back numerous times, and yet, I have not been depressed ever. I immediately take a negative situation, find the lesson in it, grow up and move on. It is amazing how quickly I just move on. Metaphorically speaking, I'd be beaten up and boggled down by life, but no one around me would ever know, because the next day, you'd find me on the tennis courts trying to win one for them team or in a Student Government meeting trying to lead my peers, without one teammate or SGA officer knowing how upside down and shaken my life just was less than 24 hours before.
Other people who have gone through similar circumstances have not bounced back nearly as fast as I have from the shit (forgive my language) I have gone through. I am blessed and grateful to be such a positive person who lets nothing, and I do mean nothing, stop me from enjoying life and going after my dreams. With what I've gone through, some people might try to hide from the spotlight and live anonymously in fear. Some people might lose trust in everyone they meet, and even people they have known for quite some time.
By developing every negative into a positive, I do not live in fear and I learn so much about myself and about life. Because of what I have been through, I am more cautious about certain things and letting people into my life, but I do not, nor will I ever, limit myself just because of my past. Also, I have learned how to forgive, how to be happy despite the facts, and I am not stressed out at all from anything that happens.
Continuously, I say that everyone deals with problems differently. However, I am really glad that I know how to move on and not dwell on the past. Doing so just keeps your life on a standstill, and that is no way to be living! It honestly aggravates me to hear people complain about their lives. Not everyone's life is golden, and not everyone knows how to deal with that. However, every situation can be altered if you try. It takes a lot of effort, a lot of discipline, and a lot of strength to make a change and to learn from the past. Easier said than done, but it must be done. And once it is done, baby, you are on track to the happiness you deserve! It'll take time, but only the greatest things are accomplished with patience and diligence.
Wednesday, March 18, 2009
Your Past...
...is only an indication of your future. It only repeats itself if you don't correct yourself. To progress ourselves, we must check and re-edit ourselves.
...is a series of lessons, and I don't know about you, but I tend to pick and choose which lessons to learn from. I am beginning to realize that I must swallow my pride, admit to my wrongs, and only then can I really mature and grow. To be changed, you must make a change. As simple and logical as that is, it falls under the list of things that are "easier said than done."
...consists of people who make an impact on who you are, consciously or not. I truly believe that every single person I have laid my eyes on, or had some correspondence with, has had an effect on me and who I am. We all judge books by their covers, hence first impressions. Even if we speak to someone, that is most likely still their cover because it takes time to truly know a person, and people don't let you in on who they are until they completely trust you, at least that is how I am at times (sorry, I went off on a tangent). Whenever I see someone, I immediately have an opinion about that person, or I compare myself to that person. I do this all the time without even noticing. For instance, if I saw a girl walking down the street with a really toned body and a nice outfit on, I think about my own body and how I really have to get myself into better shape in order to pull of whatever she is wearing. Human interaction is so important because it helps us learn more about ourselves, not just each other. I believe every single person who I crossed paths with in my life, no matter how briefly, has helped me define who I am.
...is filled with triumphs, failures, happiness, and pain. Depending on who you are, you either thrive from your triumphs and happiness or dwell on your failures and pain. If you thrive from your triumphs and happiness, you will succeed and make the most out of life. However, if you suppress your failures and pain in order to be happy, that could hurt you in the long run. Life is a crazy balance of these opposites, and honey, the sun don't shine forever. It is important to realize life is not all smiles and cupcakes because there are down moments, and if you always expect happiness, when that pain comes at you... it could knock you down because you didn't see it coming. On the other end, if you dwell on your failures and pain, you will only feel like a failure and be filled with pain. Do not overshadow your triumphs and happiness with your pessimism. Life is a crazy balance of these opposites, and honey, darkness falls but the night always ends. It is important to realize that when seemingly too good to be true circumstances come your way, you shouldn't be wondering what's going to come next that could ruin the moment.
...is a series of lessons, and I don't know about you, but I tend to pick and choose which lessons to learn from. I am beginning to realize that I must swallow my pride, admit to my wrongs, and only then can I really mature and grow. To be changed, you must make a change. As simple and logical as that is, it falls under the list of things that are "easier said than done."
...consists of people who make an impact on who you are, consciously or not. I truly believe that every single person I have laid my eyes on, or had some correspondence with, has had an effect on me and who I am. We all judge books by their covers, hence first impressions. Even if we speak to someone, that is most likely still their cover because it takes time to truly know a person, and people don't let you in on who they are until they completely trust you, at least that is how I am at times (sorry, I went off on a tangent). Whenever I see someone, I immediately have an opinion about that person, or I compare myself to that person. I do this all the time without even noticing. For instance, if I saw a girl walking down the street with a really toned body and a nice outfit on, I think about my own body and how I really have to get myself into better shape in order to pull of whatever she is wearing. Human interaction is so important because it helps us learn more about ourselves, not just each other. I believe every single person who I crossed paths with in my life, no matter how briefly, has helped me define who I am.
...is filled with triumphs, failures, happiness, and pain. Depending on who you are, you either thrive from your triumphs and happiness or dwell on your failures and pain. If you thrive from your triumphs and happiness, you will succeed and make the most out of life. However, if you suppress your failures and pain in order to be happy, that could hurt you in the long run. Life is a crazy balance of these opposites, and honey, the sun don't shine forever. It is important to realize life is not all smiles and cupcakes because there are down moments, and if you always expect happiness, when that pain comes at you... it could knock you down because you didn't see it coming. On the other end, if you dwell on your failures and pain, you will only feel like a failure and be filled with pain. Do not overshadow your triumphs and happiness with your pessimism. Life is a crazy balance of these opposites, and honey, darkness falls but the night always ends. It is important to realize that when seemingly too good to be true circumstances come your way, you shouldn't be wondering what's going to come next that could ruin the moment.
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
Bare Bones (Please Heed Warning)
Warning: I try my best in this blog to remain as unbiased as possible, especially with sensitive topics. This might be a touchy subject, but my intention is not to offend anyone. If I do, please tell me, and if enough people complain, I will take this down. Thank you.
The topic of this post is religion and spirituality. No, I will not be pressing my views onto anyone. I am just stripping this to its bare bones.
There are different religious and anti-religious views in the world, as we all know. There are religions that believe Jesus Christ is the Messiah, the Savior who will forgive sinners and enter them into Heaven. Then, there are religions that believe Jesus was a man from Nazareth, but not the Son of God, only someone who claimed he was. Who can blame them for not believing Jesus isn't the Son of God? Not many were witness to his resurrection, and put this into present context... What if someone on the street, a former carpenter to boot, told you he was the Son of God and will save this world from evil? Moving on, there are groups who believe that Satan was an angel who is just seeking revenge on God because he betrayed him. There are religions that do not acknowledge Jesus whatsoever, and there are people who do not believe in a higher power at all.
Putting aside the belief that Jesus is the Son of God, let's look at him simply as a man who wanted to sacrifice himself for the good of mankind. How many of you could say that you would shoulder all of the world's sins and errors, and die for everyone? That's quite a humanitarian effort, to say the least. People try to heal the suffering all of the time, and this man thought sacrificing himself was the best way to help others. Bare bones -- think about that in general, no matter what your beliefs are. A man sacrificed for his people. He was taking pain away from people by feeling and experiencing that pain for them through his death. Whatever you believe happened after the day of the crucifixion is totally up to you. Would you be able to do what that man did? Would you want to? Do you think all of the people in the world are worthy of your self-sacrifice? Personally, I give him props for doing something I would not dare to.
I don't have the answer to world peace; I am just trying to express myself.
Now onto the power of prayer. A lot of people pray daily, often several times a day. People believe that the power of prayer helps them through life's obstacles. Then, there are people who do not believe in prayer and are like, "Who's listening?" because they think these people are just talking to themselves. For anyone who knows what The Secret or Law of Attraction is...you know that by thinking about something all the time or saying the same thing out loud is what will happen in your life. For instance, if you are having money issues, and you pray that you will find money or a means to help you financially, and you think about this constantly, eventually a solution will surface. Or, if you don't pray, but everyday you think that you will find a way to make ends meet, to pay those bills, to be financially stable, eventually a solution will surface. At the very least, bare bones -- if you don't believe a higher being hears prayers, you at least have to agree that thinking positively on a constant basis will help you find inner strength and will help you through life struggles. Wherever you believe that inner strength comes from... Allah, yourself, nature... at least you've found it, and you are better off than you were before.
I really hope this didn't offend anyone. My message is basically this: wherever you find your source of strength, your inner happiness, and your motivation to keep on living... by all means, continue to use that source. Stand by your convictions and believe in what you think helps you the most.
The topic of this post is religion and spirituality. No, I will not be pressing my views onto anyone. I am just stripping this to its bare bones.
There are different religious and anti-religious views in the world, as we all know. There are religions that believe Jesus Christ is the Messiah, the Savior who will forgive sinners and enter them into Heaven. Then, there are religions that believe Jesus was a man from Nazareth, but not the Son of God, only someone who claimed he was. Who can blame them for not believing Jesus isn't the Son of God? Not many were witness to his resurrection, and put this into present context... What if someone on the street, a former carpenter to boot, told you he was the Son of God and will save this world from evil? Moving on, there are groups who believe that Satan was an angel who is just seeking revenge on God because he betrayed him. There are religions that do not acknowledge Jesus whatsoever, and there are people who do not believe in a higher power at all.
Putting aside the belief that Jesus is the Son of God, let's look at him simply as a man who wanted to sacrifice himself for the good of mankind. How many of you could say that you would shoulder all of the world's sins and errors, and die for everyone? That's quite a humanitarian effort, to say the least. People try to heal the suffering all of the time, and this man thought sacrificing himself was the best way to help others. Bare bones -- think about that in general, no matter what your beliefs are. A man sacrificed for his people. He was taking pain away from people by feeling and experiencing that pain for them through his death. Whatever you believe happened after the day of the crucifixion is totally up to you. Would you be able to do what that man did? Would you want to? Do you think all of the people in the world are worthy of your self-sacrifice? Personally, I give him props for doing something I would not dare to.
I don't have the answer to world peace; I am just trying to express myself.
Now onto the power of prayer. A lot of people pray daily, often several times a day. People believe that the power of prayer helps them through life's obstacles. Then, there are people who do not believe in prayer and are like, "Who's listening?" because they think these people are just talking to themselves. For anyone who knows what The Secret or Law of Attraction is...you know that by thinking about something all the time or saying the same thing out loud is what will happen in your life. For instance, if you are having money issues, and you pray that you will find money or a means to help you financially, and you think about this constantly, eventually a solution will surface. Or, if you don't pray, but everyday you think that you will find a way to make ends meet, to pay those bills, to be financially stable, eventually a solution will surface. At the very least, bare bones -- if you don't believe a higher being hears prayers, you at least have to agree that thinking positively on a constant basis will help you find inner strength and will help you through life struggles. Wherever you believe that inner strength comes from... Allah, yourself, nature... at least you've found it, and you are better off than you were before.
I really hope this didn't offend anyone. My message is basically this: wherever you find your source of strength, your inner happiness, and your motivation to keep on living... by all means, continue to use that source. Stand by your convictions and believe in what you think helps you the most.
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