Been a Long Time...

It's fitting to talk about the speed of life, considering I've been putting off writing a new post every day thinking it wouldn't be over a month until I would again. But it has been over a month. I started slacking on this around August, I think, and got caught up in my life. Things changed. I got a full time job. I'm moving into an apartment. I got engaged (had to find a way to throw this in the post somehow!). I think people tend to put things off thinking that they'll get whatever it is they gotta do done within a certain time period without a problem. Then time just slips away. I don't know if I would call this procrastinating necessarily, just prioritizing, I guess. But I've realized if this is prioritizing, then I'm pretty screwed up about what I think is most important to do in life.

We tend to lose sight of the big picture when we're caught up in the pieces rather than the whole of the puzzle. Yeah, I had to highlight that because sometimes I get kinda conceited and proud of the stuff my brain puts together. We all wanna show off sometimes. Anyway, aside from that, it is a good point. It's been said that you cannot be motivated to do anything if you don't know where you're going. It's like driving and only looking at the car in front of you. You'll get side swiped when you don't notice the idiot next to you trying to switch lanes who also doesn't see you because he or she is too busy focusing on one thing rather than the road as a whole.

The puzzle pieces of my life include but are not limited to: education, bills, work, socializing, working out, buying stuff. The whole of the puzzle is: making sure I'm healthy, successful, and that everyone in my life, including me, is happy. When we start to get bored commuting to and from work, that's us letting the whole puzzle picture slip from our minds. When we choose parties over going to bed early enough to wake up to get errands done, that's us saying, "F*** you, puzzle picture. I want my fun," when in reality, depending on the importance of the errands, we could be screwing ourselves over, and inevitably, the fun wouldn't have been worth it after all. It's short-term happiness overriding long-term happiness. We forget our purpose when we trivialize our everyday routine and start to complain about it or put stupid little things ahead of what actually matters. I'm not saying don't have your fun. I'm saying get your life in order so that you can have your fun and fulfill your overall reason for living. There are countless stories of workaholics who put their families to the side, practically kick them to the curb, in order to earn a promotion or complete a task well before deadline. Nice job, you've won but your family life sucks. You're not married to your boss (well, you might be, but you see what I'm getting at). Who are you more faithful to, a higher-up you're sucking up to for like 10 cents more on a paycheck, or the man or woman who is at home waiting to finally see you at the end of a long day?

Not trying to sound like a self-help book, but put into perspective how your puzzle pieces affect the whole picture. How do the little things add up to one whole? Are the little pieces worth it? Are you able to have every piece, no matter how big or small, fit into your life? Do you consider yourself happy overall?

If you could look at yourself naked in a mirror while eating and not want to cry, then you're happy with your body. That's kinda like life. If you could strip away the parties, alcohol, drugs, anything materialistic like a flat screen or a closet full of clothes, anything God would consider "worldly" possessions, and not feel alone or unimportant, then you're truly happy with yourself.

Step back and think about what you do daily. Think about the importance of everything you do. Don't forget that even though bumper to bumper traffic is hell in the morning, the road you're on is leading you to where you need to be for a reason. Be able to smile about it.

Sorority Life

It's indescribable.

The saying goes, "It's not four years, it's for life." And it is so true.

I graduated in '08 and whenever I go to see my sisters or go to an event, my parents always say, "Isn't that over? You're still in that sorority?" They don't understand the "for life" concept too well. Then again, a lot of non-Greeks don't understand Greek life too well.

It's not about the parties, the drinking, or "buying your friends." As a matter of fact, something I will never forget is my recruitment in Fall 2006. One of my future sorority sisters stood in front of us Greek wannabes and said, "Whenever anyone tells me that I've paid for my friends, I always say that if it's true, then I didn't pay enough."

Sisterhood is priceless, especially mine. I am a proud sister of Alpha Sigma Tau, Gamma Chi chapter. We fight like family, and just as equally, we're there for one another as if we truly are blood. Non-Greeks criticize us so much, but they will never understand how precious sorority life actually is. How, no matter the time of day, when a sister needs help, a sister is there to provide it. What's special about my sorority is that we're all there for one another, whether we pledged in 1998 or 2008. The majority of us keep in contact with each other, even sisters who didn't attend college at the same time.

Of course, there are sororities and fraternities out there that give Greek life the bad reputation it has, otherwise the rumors and criticisms wouldn't exist. However, there are so many more that live by their ideals, that defend their creeds, and live daily the true meaning of Greek life.

I just felt the need to explain how amazing it is to be a sister of Alpha Sigma Tau because there are too many people out there who associate sororities as being slutty, drunken, bitchy messes that seclude themselves from the rest of the world.

Even though those types may be out there ... we are not that sorority, and I guarantee, you'll find more that aren't that way than those that are. And we don't criticize or make fun of you for not being in a sorority or fraternity, so why talk bad about us for being in one?

mindXposed Quote of the Week

"How long a minute is, depends on which side of the bathroom door you're on. " - Zall's Second Law

It's been a while since I've posted, so I thought it was fitting to search a quote about time. I am at this point in my life where everything is starting to fall into place, and in some people's eyes, it all may be too good to be true. But it is. And I couldn't be happier or feel more blessed!

Time's really funny, and it is relative in a sense that, depending on what you are waiting for or what you are doing, real-time 60 minutes could feel like two hours. A day could feel like weeks when you're waiting for something or someone to come. Weeks feel like months, months like years, you get it.

On the flip side, time storms by so quickly that one day you pause, stare at your calendar and think, "Damn, August 14 already? June felt like yesterday!"

Time is very valuable, and depending on how you live your life, it can feel fast or slow. In reality, time moves at a rigid and set pace. We cannot stretch a minute to be longer than it is. It is what it is. Sixty seconds. We may feel it goes by slowly in the doctor's waiting room or during the last 15 minutes of work...but it's not. It's sixty seconds. One minute. That's it. 2+2=4 no matter how long you stare at it. 60 seconds = 1 minute no matter how fast or slow it seemed to have gone.

Time is precious, and I'm learning to have a sense of urgency in my life because it is going by very quickly. I will never forget what my dentist told me when I was entering ninth grade. He had said that high school will fly by, but after that, time goes even faster. I was hoping he'd be wrong because this is my youth and my younger years. I don't want to wake up one day at 40 years old, wondering how I got there so fast.

How do you "slow down" time? How could you let it linger a little longer so that you can do everything you need and want to do?

I've heard "life is short" countless times, and it is now just sinking in that it's more than just a saying...it's the truth. I don't want to put anything off for another day. Because once you push something back, you keep pushing it and pushing it back to the point where it may not even be that important to you anymore. I say this a lot, but I don't want to miss out. I don't want to look back and think, "Why couldn't I be like Nike and just do it?"

mindXposed Quote of the Week

"To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment." - Ralph Waldo Emerson

We all want to keep our images straight, hoping that people understand us and know who we truly are. However, sometimes the people we care about give us advice, or see us differently than how we see ourselves, and that's a conflict.

We metaphorically stunt our growth when we take into consideration what people think of us and make decisions based on how they feel rather than on how we feel. For instance, say you grew up playing a sport, and you're really into it. However, Mom and Dad think you'll be better off playing a different sport. You grow up not knowing just how great you could have been in the sport you love more than anything because you gave it up to do something else that did not suit you in order to keep them happy. Or you're not the drinking type, but you go to a party where everyone is liquored up. You don't want to be an outcast, so despite yourself, you get down with the party.

I could go on with examples, but I don't feel like it and you get the idea, I'm sure. There are millions I could go over, big and small. It ain't easy living up to your own expectations when the people you care about most have their own expectations of you, and they let it be known loud and clear that they don't like what you're doing, or they think you can do something they believe is better for you, even though you're content and you're not hurting anybody or yourself. Even the strongest people falter in order to make others happy, sacrificing what they want in order to keep their reputations right, or to keep up an "appearance" that they want others to see them as.

In this world, Emerson is straight up correct, being true to yourself takes work and is a serious accomplishment.

Yo, Eminem is SO ON POINT.

For those who hate reading long entries, or reading at all, I bolded the parts that really matter. Maybe by reading the bold parts you'll want to read the rest. Ha, that's funny.

[Damn, I just realized I bolded like all of it. I guess all of it matters. Oh well. READ.]

"I am whatever you say I am." Dude, that is so true. F what you heard. Rap music, especially Em, rattles your bones and just forces you to think. It's not about being blinged out and driving fancy cars. It's not like other music that's only about falling in and out of love. It's not just about getting drunk and high, then hitting a club and bring b****** home. It talks about some real ill sh**, things that I can't relate to because I didn't grow up anywhere near the streets and because I do not have a hard knock life so far, but still... it's the best kind of music because it's like reading a book, listening to a story. We don't necessarily read a book or watch a movie because we can relate to it. If anything, the stuff we don't know about intrigues us the most, hence why we like watching horror films or sci-fi flicks. Like, hello, does that have anything to do with your life? Nah, it doesn't it. And rap music for the most part has nothing to do with mine, but I love it because the raw energy and emotions are deep, the words get you thinking about how you react to life and certain situations, and that is what music is all about. You know what, I can relate to some of it, obviously, otherwise Eminem would have nothing to do with this entry. Uh duh. That's why I say give everything and everyone a chance because you'll never know what you'll learn.

Anyway, this entry really has nothing to do with rap, or music at all, but if you read the section to the left, I warned you about tangents. So deal like we're playing cards. Word. You like that on-the-spot analogy? I can be quick with it, see? Here I go again, let me stop.

SO, for the real part of this entry (cause the whole part before this was fake)...

Yo, Eminem is SO ON POINT. Yeah, I said it twice for emphasis. And it's half in caps, so I must mean business. For all of you who don't know why Eminem is being brought up, check his lyrics to "The Way I Am." Anyway, I got to thinking about who I am from the outside looking in. Like, I know me, for the most part, and I say for the most part because I always surprise myself with the things that I do, and I am still a work-in-progress project and won't know who I am completely until my last breath when I can finally say, "I AM DONE" because God says I am.

I don't normally care about how people judge me. Actually, I do care because I don't want to be hated. Anyway, what I am trying to finally get to saying is... (wow, that was a mouthful) who the hell am I TO YOU?! I know who I am to me. I am not too mean, not too nice, I am somewhere in the middle. I'm not too fat, not too thin, I am just right. And people like just right, right? Think Goldilocks, even though she's not a real person, she's fake like the first half of this post.

Now think of "The Way I Am" (Goldilocks...Eminem...only I could bring these two together). Anyway, it essentially does not matter what I think about me. What matters is what others think about me. It's because how people perceive me is who I am TO THEM. That's how we get along or not, that's how we are friends or enemies. People don't like you because of who YOU think you are. They like you (or dislike you) for who THEY think you are. Make sense? I know it's a crazy jungle of jumbled words, but bear with me. This ish is getting deeper than I thought! Remember when I said I surprise myself? This entry is one of them moments. And I'm glad to share the experience with you all on the World Wide Web.

So, like Eminem points out, I am whatever you say I am. That's just life. It is whatever you think it is. We are nothing but a bundle of someone's thought process, if that makes any sense. We're just a perception. And I'm feeling like I'm in my freshman year of Intro to Philosophy.

I am what you thought I was in high school. I am what you thought I was in college. I am what you think I am through this blog. But is that truly me? Is that really who I am? To you it is, and I can't really control that, I can just hope you see me in a positive light.

The Truth Floats Like a Butterfly, Stings Like a Bee

Let's get real here...

Truth is, you just can't sing.
Truth is, you do need to lose a couple of pounds.
Truth is, you're being controlled by your man.
Truth is, she'll never want to be with you.

Let's not string each other along just to keep each other happy. That's how we end up with so many tears on American Idol from people who can't carry a note if it was in a brown paper bag, but have been convinced that they're the next big thing. That's how we end up with people, who don't realize how big they are, running around in clothes three times too small (I'm not talking about people who are proud of their curves and wear clothes to accentuate them...I'm talking about the straight delusional!). That's how we end up with women who have been lied to, being told that their man is a good catch when everyone knows she's the dummy to his ventriloquist act. That's how we end up with people who chase the ones they love anywhere and everywhere until they're out of breath because the ones being chased don't want to hurt their feelings.

We don't have to be mean to tell the truth, but damn son...the truth must be told somehow! There are people out their who would rather walk on egg shells to keep a smile on someone's face rather than speak up about an issue they have with a person. Confrontation does not always lead to conflict. It can, however, and it should, lead to a resolution.

Sometimes we know the truth but it is just sooo effing hard to face that we become dishonest with ourselves. We convince ourselves that it's better to live a lie than to confront ourselves. We do know what's up, that there needs to be a change, but some of us need others to point that out and to point us in the proper direction. Some of us are too weak to face the truth even though we are very aware of what it is.

Here's something I've learned, even though it may be common sense and might come naturally to you...by facing the truth and really working on yourself to improve your life, you eliminate so much of the stress and headache of trying to live with that bad demon, the lurking shadow, the cloudy overcast. The truth is the light.

Sometimes it's not this serious, like the thing about singing. Sometimes we just really are convinced of something that just isn't true. But it's those things that we should just laugh about and roll off our shoulders.

None of us lead perfect lives and once in a while we gotta put each other in check...but gently. Otherwise, we may be seeing more people signing record deals who are overweight, wearing extra tight clothes, and do not have any business being played on the radio.

mindXposed Quote of the Week

"A person hears only what they understand." - Goethe

When it comes to listening to other people, we hear words but often twist them in our minds so that we comprehend those words in the best way we can understand. Sometimes we don't realize that we've twisted what was said into a different definition. Hence, arguments, wars, discrepancies, misunderstanding, miscommunication, etc.

It isn't that a person is ignorant or stupid and can't understand what's been said. It's just that how we've been brought up and what we've experienced influences what we hear. That's why racism and sexism exist. Actually, racism only exists in the minds of people who think coming from separate countries determines superiority. Sexism only exists in the minds of people who think what's between our legs determines who is the better sex. We live by what we best understand, by our beliefs, and by our personal levels of knowledge. We all grow up with our own sets of values, and oftentimes that is why we can't comprehend other people's behavior. "Good" and "bad" is arguable because we define things differently.

Goethe's one sentence basically summarizes how our world works, and how our minds disrupt and prevent peace.

mindXposed Quote of the Week

"Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle." - Plato

Are you stressed out and taking it out on the woman driving too slow in front of you? Or maybe you're taking it out on the customer who is taking too long writing out that damn check. Why are people using checks anymore, anyway? Nah, maybe it's the cashier who just seems to have no patience. You're about to spend money in his store, so why is he rushing you, huh?

Hey, you never know what these people are going through, just like they don't know what's going on with you. Yeah, you got your issues and you can't deal with people, and you just want them all out of your way so you can do what you gotta do. Well, my dude, they're thinking the same thing about you.

Life ain't easy for any of us. So, let's not make it any more difficult than it has to be with stupid little arguments and misjudgments, please.

Your Past...

...is only an indication of your future. It only repeats itself if you don't correct yourself. To progress ourselves, we must check and re-edit ourselves.

...is a series of lessons, and I don't know about you, but I tend to pick and choose which lessons to learn from. I am beginning to realize that I must swallow my pride, admit to my wrongs, and only then can I really mature and grow. To be changed, you must make a change. As simple and logical as that is, it falls under the list of things that are "easier said than done."

...consists of people who make an impact on who you are, consciously or not. I truly believe that every single person I have laid my eyes on, or had some correspondence with, has had an effect on me and who I am. We all judge books by their covers, hence first impressions. Even if we speak to someone, that is most likely still their cover because it takes time to truly know a person, and people don't let you in on who they are until they completely trust you, at least that is how I am at times (sorry, I went off on a tangent). Whenever I see someone, I immediately have an opinion about that person, or I compare myself to that person. I do this all the time without even noticing. For instance, if I saw a girl walking down the street with a really toned body and a nice outfit on, I think about my own body and how I really have to get myself into better shape in order to pull of whatever she is wearing. Human interaction is so important because it helps us learn more about ourselves, not just each other. I believe every single person who I crossed paths with in my life, no matter how briefly, has helped me define who I am.

...is filled with triumphs, failures, happiness, and pain. Depending on who you are, you either thrive from your triumphs and happiness or dwell on your failures and pain. If you thrive from your triumphs and happiness, you will succeed and make the most out of life. However, if you suppress your failures and pain in order to be happy, that could hurt you in the long run. Life is a crazy balance of these opposites, and honey, the sun don't shine forever. It is important to realize life is not all smiles and cupcakes because there are down moments, and if you always expect happiness, when that pain comes at you... it could knock you down because you didn't see it coming. On the other end, if you dwell on your failures and pain, you will only feel like a failure and be filled with pain. Do not overshadow your triumphs and happiness with your pessimism. Life is a crazy balance of these opposites, and honey, darkness falls but the night always ends. It is important to realize that when seemingly too good to be true circumstances come your way, you shouldn't be wondering what's going to come next that could ruin the moment.

You Can't Tell Me I'm Wrong

Recently I watched a documentary on eating disorders of which I cannot remember the title. All I remember is that people with eating disorders have a connection to each other via the Internet. The curious person that I am, I searched these websites that promote eating disorders, and are used by people for motivation and inspiration. They (particularly girls), give each other advice on how (not) to eat, how to weigh themselves without anyone realizing how much weight they have lost, and other things to help them live with their eating disorders. Some of these sites have motivational quotes that mention that the thinner you are, the more attractive and beautiful you will feel. Their perception of the ideal body is pretty much skin and bones. Meat = no good.

I am not condemning nor condoning this behavior; at least, not in this blog. Even though my intent is to express myself, I will not do it if I think it will insult someone (at least not intentionally). Anyway, this leads me to my main point: perception. Beauty, a sense of "reality," and what is good versus evil, is all in the eye of the beholder. I am a strong believer in the idea of "live and let live." There are people who think "thin is in" and other people who believe it is healthier to have more meat on their bodies. People have different views, opinions, and ideals. What one person thinks is wrong could actually be the basis of values for an entire culture or religion. What could be a social norm to one population could be a social violation to another. In other words, I do not think we can judge one another based on our personal opinions. We all must learn to accept each other's differences. Now, some of you may be thinking that eating disorders are harmful, and so it should not be accepted. Yes, that may be so. However, it is one thing to say that it is wrong; it is another to say that it is dangerous. This may sound confusing, so let me clarify: I think that it is more concrete to make a list of what is dangerous as opposed to what is wrong. For instance, suicide bombing is dangerous, but it is not wrong according to certain groups of people. So, back to what I was saying. How many of us can actually relate to someone with an eating disorder? Or relate to someone who is in an arranged marriage? Or someone who believes in polygamy?

All I am saying is that people have different views. We should not throw around the word "wrong" as loosely as we do. I'm at fault for doing this as well (you will notice as I post more entries, that many of them are based on certain realizations or epiphanies that I have). It is a hard "habit" to break; especially because the majority of us have similar beliefs of what is right and wrong. Before we judge people with eating disorders, we should first think about how they feel and why they do it. If you know someone with an eating disorder who thinks he or she is correctly dieting and living life the "right" way, I do not think you should tell him or her it is wrong. I think it is better to say that it is dangerous and harmful, and as a friend, you are looking out for the health of someone you care about. This could be a good way to help people, not just for eating disorders, but for other reasons. This is something I have personally just realized, and I think by doing this, people I may want to help in the future might be more open to hear me out. When you tell someone that they are wrong, more than likely their first response would be, "You can't tell me I'm wrong." Then, how much harder would it be to help someone when they think you're judging and belittling them? There are other things that are not dangerous, and these things go under the "live and let live" saying. People should not tell other people they are wrong for having more than one wife, for being Christian instead of Catholic, for being homosexual, etc. It may not be something you practice or something that you are, but it should just be accepted, or at the very least, you could just ignore it and live your life.